Monday, April 29, 2013

You love to hurt the one you love

Our friend is overseas and has left his partner at home alone. The partner is quite self sufficient, but when R spoke to him on the telephone a day or so ago, he was missing his partner.

I know exactly what will happen when our friend returns from his travels and reunites with his partner as Millie did the same to us.

We had dogs, Jessie a West Highland White Terrier, physically defective and died at ten years old, and Toby, a black mongrel who was hale and hearty and lived to be around twelve.

Cats were Tuffy, black female and not so friendly, Thomas, a gorgeous huge black and white cat who could not get enough affection and drooled and purred when given a lap to sit upon, and then multi coloured Millie. Millie was a free spirit and not a nice one at that. I am sure Kath's Milly is much nicer.

I can't remember where she came from but she stayed with us because we fed her. Any thought of a connection with humans was far from her mind, and we grew to dislike her, as she did us. Nevertheless we had her patched up after she was hit by a car and we and we continued to tolerate each other, just. Btw, she was ironically named after Millicent Friendly. Does anyone know who she was?

I think it was when we went to Adelaide in 1983, we put her into a cattery in Malvern. I can't remember if it was Miss Plant in Elizabeth Street, or Miss Elizabeth in Plant Street. No matter, she was a cat loving spinster.

We collected Millie when we returned form our holidays and Miss Plant told us that Millie had not enjoyed her stay and that they had not gotten along at all well.

Once home, Millie made it quite clear to us that she was very angry about her temporarily changed circumstances and lashed out at us at every opportunity.  It was more than just a passing slash at our ankles, which she did as well. She would hide and pounce on us, claws extended. The cold but working relationship had gone. We were her enemy. If she wasn't eating or attacking us, she would be somewhere outside.

Shortly after she was hit by another car in Waverley Road and died. A neighbour a few streets away found her. Ah yes, Mrs Millis, who had a gay son. We spent a New Year's Eve with him once and nothing happened except having a good time and drinking lots of Tia Maria laced with cream. Lordy, his mother's house had been renovated and was an early seventies time capsule. Burnt orange was the favoured colour of the time.

In later years we cried when Thomas died, and Toby, especially Toby, and Jessie. We shed no tears for Millie.

Finally I get to point. Our returning from holidays friend's partner will behave exactly like Millie did after we collected her from cattery.  He will be vicsous towards our friend and lash out. He will be angry that he was left alone, angry that our friend had a good time and every thing that has built up over the past month will come out.  Eventually things will settle down, like they never did between us and the cat Millie. Seems humans are a bit different to cats.

Later edit: It's started. "Oh, you're back. When are you going away again?".

20 comments:

  1. We went away for the ANZAC weekend and our cat (who usually responds to absences with enthusiastically renewed acquaintance) seems this time to have gone into a bit of a sulk - though hardly of the Millie proportions you recount.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marcellous, I am sure he/she is over by the time I am writing this. Back to happy families hey.

      Delete
  2. When humans feel abandoned or exploited by their loving partner, they become silent and snippy, answering in monosyllables. The trouble with silence and snippiness is that the loving partner doesn't know what he has done wrongly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hels, I may well have had some experience of that myself.

      Delete
  3. Hmmm. Sounds like some personal spaces have to be observed or are we talking a interracial relationship here?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very astute Michael. Yes race gap and age gap.

      Delete
  4. It's possible he might not be angry, he may just be more clingy and follow the friend from room to room talking and talking and talking....touching, hugging, doing everything for the friend. Or maybe they will have a big fight then make up and everything will be back to normal.
    I'd say Millie was so vicious after her stay because she was a stray to begin with so already insecure.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Remains to be seen River. I can't recall where Millie came from. I don't think she was a stray, but she behaved like one.

      Delete
  5. nothing more sad than the death of a loved doggie.
    Very usually, pets left alone when they are annoyed with you, will use the bed as their toilet, just to make the point. I am so glad this has never happened to me, but it has to many I know.
    Millicent Friendly seems to have turned out an apt namesake for that ungrateful cat you were so kind to - Bete Noir, No Good, Panic Attack, Empty Nest, All I Want Is Everything. Maybe, if you had named her differently ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ann, so it is all our fault for giving her the wrong name. There was a board game called Art Auction around then and one of the characters was the art collector, Millicent Friendly.

      Delete
  6. Ha ha my cats ignored me when I got home, slept away from me. Then come morning they could not love on me enough, it was fabulous. Fickle animals!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fen, cats are rather control freaks, are they not.

      Delete
  7. You're right, dear Andrew, MY darling *Milly* would never do anything like that. Being a dog rather than a cat helps....

    What might surprise you is that I grew up with cats. When 'Puss' died, I was allowed to choose a kitten to be my very own pet. "Sox" was a tabby with white feet (cat names clearly didn't come easily to my family) and he was very similar to your cat Thomas - rubbed his face against mine, dribbled slightly, jumped into any lap he could find and even dashed into the caravan and hid under the table when he knew we were packing for a holiday. My friends loved him as well and we even had a 'Sox Appreciation Society' happening until far too many mis-readings by boys had occurred!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes Kath, I see your point about SAS. I will just say I don't mind cats, but I prefer dogs. To have a really affectionate cat is nice.

      Delete
  8. My pet cat Ruby is always leaving me alone...she is such a moody soul :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keith, does she have a slight red glow about her?

      Delete
  9. Our cat Albert thinks he's a dog...so reunions are always happy, silly affairs

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good John. With so many animals, I expect a few of yours have identity crisis at times.

      Delete
  10. Oh my, Millie sounds like she was a wee bit scary Andrew..I wonder if she had a bad experience earlier in her life..but I would have been a nervous wreck if I was constantly anticipating an unexpected feline attack :) As for your friend..perhaps he needs to rethink his relationship, life's too short for all that nonsense oui!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Grace, she was quite young we took custody of her. She may well have had bad experiences as a kitten. Mostly the r'ship works for them.

      Delete