The Crack Reporter, no
A three-metre crocodile was
shot dead in the billabong the next day and human remains were found inside it. AAP.
That looks like a sentence I would write, not one from Australia Associated Press, a company I presume is under the banner of Associated Press, a world famous news organisation. While the sentence is clear, it is a very ugly sentence.
AP has a history it can be proud of, but it has come to this?
He was shot in the billabong? - that's even more painful than the rotunda...
ReplyDeleteYour sample does not read like an opening sentence: Theoretically the opening sentence contains the key details of a story.
Yesterday, human remains were found inside a 3 metre crocodile shot dead by rangers at the Upper Congupna Downs Billabong.
The original was presumably not written by a reporter, nor was it checked by a sub-editor. Newspapers are now filled with rubbish cut-and-pasted from subscription services, and supplemented by opinion pieces.
[Anyone who gives me a lobotomy will get a piece of my mind!]
FC, yes, it was a closing sentence. Your paste is a nice sentence. As always, love your work.
DeleteWell, it was succinct.
ReplyDeleteThe meaning was clear Victor, just ugly. I expect better from professional writers.
Delete...perhaps the journo had been overly-refreshed after attending the work Christmas party?
ReplyDeleteKath, me thinks journos are celebrating christmas a bit early.
ReplyDelete