Saturday, December 01, 2012

The Crack Reporter, no


A three-metre crocodile was shot dead in the billabong the next day and human remains were found inside it. AAP.

That looks like a sentence I would write, not one from Australia Associated Press, a company I presume is under the banner of Associated Press, a world famous news organisation. While the sentence is clear, it is a very ugly sentence. 

AP has a history it can be proud of, but it has come to this?

6 comments:

  1. He was shot in the billabong? - that's even more painful than the rotunda...

    Your sample does not read like an opening sentence: Theoretically the opening sentence contains the key details of a story.

    Yesterday, human remains were found inside a 3 metre crocodile shot dead by rangers at the Upper Congupna Downs Billabong.

    The original was presumably not written by a reporter, nor was it checked by a sub-editor. Newspapers are now filled with rubbish cut-and-pasted from subscription services, and supplemented by opinion pieces.

    [Anyone who gives me a lobotomy will get a piece of my mind!]

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    1. FC, yes, it was a closing sentence. Your paste is a nice sentence. As always, love your work.

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  2. Well, it was succinct.

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    Replies
    1. The meaning was clear Victor, just ugly. I expect better from professional writers.

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  3. ...perhaps the journo had been overly-refreshed after attending the work Christmas party?

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  4. Kath, me thinks journos are celebrating christmas a bit early.

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