Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Mother's Bestie

Mother has a best friend but mother's best friend is not being at all helpful to Mother at the moment. Her ex husband died and she had to sort out his estate and then very inconveniently to Mother, her best friend's present husband has now had a nervous breakdown. This means Mother's best friend can no longer drive Mother around hither and thither or bother Mother with one hour long phone calls. Well, I certainly know about one hour long phone calls with Mother. I avoid them and R is the victim.

"I said luv, I said pet, I said luv. It's not that I don't care. It is all very well for your husband to somewhat selfishly have a nervous breakdown, but you are supposed to be my friend and take me out to places when my neglectful children cannot mange it. Apparently they have lives. You were supposed to be my friend and now your husband has taken on a nervous breakdown, you are not at all useful to me and I am disappointed in you as a friend".

Ok, I am exaggerating, but it is the boiled down essence of my telephone conversation with Mother.

What has happened to Mother's best friend's husband is extraordinary.  He is a self employed manufacturer. The stress of companies he supplied products to who never paid him as they went broke possibly brought on the breakdown. He is under good care and his recovery might take about three months. At the moment he is changed from a vital, clever and active person to a vacantly staring and heavily medicated zombie.

15 comments:

  1. That is a list of sad stories for your mother's bestie, her ex, her current, and R. I hope it is not bad news for current's employees and that he can get his creditors under control.

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  2. older age sucks :(

    If it isn't carpal tunnels, lower back pain, hip surgery or deafness, it might be loss of the business or a severe depressive episode requiring long hospitalisation.

    My dad just lost his driver's licence this year. He is distraught.

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  3. It can be hard enough getting older but then when you have financial problems it's even worse.

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  4. Damn, hope your mother's bestie's husband pulls through, it's a rough time to be self-employed.

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  5. FC, I am not sure what employees he has. His son works in the business.

    Hels, the driving license one is interesting. While I appreciate the difficulty for people once their driving time has passed, I have seen too many old people do too many very silly things on the road, including my grandfather when he was alive. I also see many old people driving who live in areas with good public transport, but they just won't use it.

    Indeed Rubye. I think personally he is ok for money. Some people, like your goodself I suspect, can live quite cheaply and have no problem in their older years. Some like my mother just spend more than they receive.

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  6. Poor old bloke. Having gone through two very dark episodes myself I feel not only for him but only his wife, family and friends. You don't break down so tragically like that out of choice.

    A shame too, that your mother can't *see* that and learn how to take a tram.

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  7. Kath, thinking back, there was a sign years ago when I first met him. He acted out of character, just once.

    In Mother's case, it would be a bus as she is on the outer limits of suburbia. She used to use PT until she was stalked on her way home from the station and has never used it since.

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  8. Why, oh why don't bad things happen to BAD people?

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  9. I had a friend act "out of character" once about a year ago now. The very next week his wife came in to tell me he was in hospital having had a nervous breakdown. I've only seen him once since then, and he's okay, but just "not himself" somehow.
    Mother needs to learn to use the trams and buses, or call a taxi.

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  10. Seems like that at times Red.

    River, interesting observation. She needs the taxi discount pass, but she won't get busy and get one.

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  11. Poor guy, I hope he recovers and gets back to some sense of normality. It's difficult.

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  12. Oh you are awful about your dear old Mum Andrew, I mean to say come on..it was pretty inconsiderate of her bestie's latest squeeze to go and get all 'melancholy' on her. Sorry only kidding..someone had to haha!!

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  13. Grace, I am sure Mother does care, but I could not help but pick some self interest in what she said.

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  14. This is so much like some people I know...can remember when Don and I were having some really scary times re his health and would get complaints from one or two that I hadn't kept in touch with them...felt like smacking them down most like this is how your mother's best friend feels
    You remembered that bit out of Fast forward? When Magda and her friend were in the back of the shop Magda complaining about her daughter who's husband had just been run over by a semi trailer and rang her "right in the middle of "A Country Practice" - thats a brilliant skit

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  15. MC, people are good with short term illnesses, but I don't think they are so good with long term. I do remember that skit.

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Whenever I wish I was young again, I am sobered by memories of algebra.