I am even more sceptical about the on board announcements, but hey, they are diverting if you are forced into travelling on the worst method of travel ever invented by womankind. After the photos there are a few of the announcements. I don't know what the formatting will be like, but fingers crossed.
"People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and we will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
"To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite."
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurised metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."