I have cousins. I have never written about them. That is because I don't know them. After the manège a trios that was my parents marriage, with my father's brother, I lost touch with my uncle. He married the local school teacher and had three children. His oldest would be twenty years younger than me I suppose. I did take R to visit them once in the eighties. It went ok but there was no contact subsequently. My uncle did come to my father's funeral though. I did try to stalk the cuzes via Facebook once, but there were too many with the same name and I did not know what they looked like.
Then a year or so later, last month actually, I tried my uncle's wife's name in FB. It came straight up. I requested her to add me as a friend, which she accepted and on my page I started posting old photos of the Bolter's, that is my uncle's mother, my grandmother, who ran away to Sydney with one of her youthful music students.
Through the third party, my uncle's wife, I topped up a bit of family history. Several times earlier I had tried to write to my uncle, but it was always left unfinished in my computer folder. Too soppy, too smarmy, too distant, too revealing of what I know, keeping in mind that I don't know what his wife knows. He must be nearly seventy now. I don't know what his health is like.
I had sent about three messages to my uncle's wife and she responded each time, as well as commenting on the old photos. I sent what I think will be a last message, thanking my uncle for being our second dad when I and my ABI brother were young, well up to the age of about twelve for me. My father was mostly serious and very reserved....ha, who does that sound like. My father was very typically an embarrassment to me. My uncle, who was younger was handsome, vain (so my mother reminded me), a snappy dresser and great fun. Dad was slightly remote whereas my uncle entertained us endlessly. By the age of twelve, I also realised he was a very sexy man and had no end of local lasses in pursuit of him. I saw in him what obviously my mother saw in him. In the end, he married the local school teacher who had rich middle class parents and she also taught Tradie Brother and Sister at the local Gippsland primary school.
I don't expect to have proper contact with any of them really. It has been too long.
Post started on 07/09/11