I knew this would happen sooner or later. I thought I might have even been the first, but apparently not. Those of you who read the same American blog will know who I am talking about, or you soon will once you catch up on her blog. You know, at times you come across people in the blog world who you instinctively connect with and you know they are a decent person. The longer you read their writing, the more shading of their life comes to the fore. They transform into a real person in your life, someone you may think about even when you are not sitting at your pc. Such it has been with that person and I hope it continues for a good while yet. (just to note, it is not the Dina who is obsessed with Australia)
It takes me back to when Dame M died. My newer readers will not know who she is, but there is a tag for her and she is in the 'cast list' and a good few of you went through her death with me.
In a quiet moment and only to me, Dame M told me she was dying. I was taken aback but quickly recovered to say, 'Don't be silly Dame M. You will be fine.'
It would have saved, me, and her many friends a lot of worry and her a lot of fighting and angst had I just said, 'Ok, so how do you want to go about this Dame M? How can we make it better for you?' Instead we constantly nagged her to seek medical treatment, insisted she see a doctor, who was very out of her depth when she was confronted by a dying woman who was refusing any tests, when all Dame M wanted to do was die at home, in comfort. She did, more or less, only going to hospital two days before she died but it could have been so much better had I have taken what she said as the truth.
Like many Chinese under Chairman Mao had to write self criticisms, I have certainly mentally written my self criticism. If someone tells you they are dying, it is probably true and you support them through what may or may not be a difficult time in the best way you can, but at their leisure.