Ms Emily Dean c/o Frank Skinner Show, Absolute Radio.
My dearest Emily,
we out here in the colonies sometimes have delusions of our importance on the world stage. It seems some of you in the mother country are alert to what happens in the far flung corners of your pink bits on the map, such as Alun, the cockerel, Cochrane who knew our Prime Minister was born in Wales, but dear Emily, for a learned person, you are disappointing. Our Prime Minister's name Gillard is pronounced with a hard g. The first letter of her name does not sound like the g in Gillette of the razor blade folk.
Feel free to contact me should you need any minute nuances about Australia explained.
Thank you for your time.