Having worked at the same place for three decades plus, (yes, serious character failing), many times I have donated to fellow workers retirements, to prop them up when they are seriously ill and I know they are not flush with funds, towards flowers for their funerals. It is just something you do.
But, dear readers, it seems to be getting out of hand and work and maybe I will be judged as being mean. That I am is beside the point.
A cleaner finished up at work. He was a contract cleaner who was paid a pittance by an outside firm and had worked at my workplace for a couple of years. I did not judge him as a workmate and he was a lousy cleaner. I refused to donate.
Another workmate's mother died in Mauritius. Again I refused to donate.
Last week a workmate was driving his mother to a hospital appointment. They crashed, not my workmate's fault. His 82 year old mother died in the crash. His sister was also in the car. She is still in hospital. It is awful as his mother lived with him and he was a real mummy's boy, even though he must be forty. I feel so bad for him. So far as I know, it received a two line mention in an online newspaper. A collection is being taken up for his mother's funeral. Why? My workmate is not poor. It would be like asking you blogmates to pay for my funeral. You already know I am not poor, I have a partner, I have family and I have friends. I may not have cash, but I have assets. My workmate might not have a partner, but he has the rest.
I would happily pay a contribution towards flowers for my workmate's mother's funeral but no one has asked me for that.
Do you think I should give begrudgingly? R can be very generous at times with people, yet when they might slight him, he remembers that he was generous to them. Problem.
When I give, I do it with good grace, or I don't do it all. I expect nothing in return.