Sunday, April 18, 2010

De-gaying

You can read the whole post here but below is snip from Evol Kween's latest post.

The thing about starting a new job, or even just meeting new people is the whole 'coming out' thing. It sounds ridiculous, but us homos spend our whole lives 'coming out'.

Because I have worked the same job for a very long time, it is not such a problem for me although I do tire of being asked by new workmates about my children, my wife, why I don't have one etc. I don't usually tell them I am gay. They work it out soon enough themselves. I do find the repetition of the whole business a pain though. I don't blame them. They are natural questions. Notwithstanding, Evol makes a valid point.

I had already written the subject line for this post before I read Evol's piece. What I was going to write about is de-gaying your abode and I read a suggestion in a newspaper that older gay men who need some sort of in house home care or even just home help with cleaning, feel the need to de-gay their house. I look around from where I am sitting and apart from a lack of feminine frippery, there isn't much to indicate two gay men live here.

But have a look at the books on the shelves, the cds, the dvds (at the moment the dvds would indicate that we have a child). These are all things a cleaner would see. Come one of our birthdays, there is bound to be at least one birthday card with a handsome male on it, in stages of dress or undress, on display. We haven't, but many gay men would have homoerotic art on their walls.

Perhaps we could be under the care of religious organisation. Gay people have de-gayed their home so that they can continue to get care by sternly religious volunteers. I learnt from ABC Radio National that there is an old gay couple in Sydney, one with dementia and in a church run nursing home. His partner visits him, but has to take care to not show affection if front of anyone. You can't say well, get him into a non religious home. You often can't pick and choose in these matters. Besides, maybe he is of that religion and wants to be in a church run home. He can choose to deny his religion or his sexuality, but can't have both.

Maybe I have just been lucky, but I haven't any life affecting instances of homophobia against me. That may well change in the future.

Below are the lyrics of a very amusing song called Straightening Up the House, by artists Romanovsky and Phillips. It is much better to hear it than just read the lyrics, but the world is a selfish place and no one has uploaded it to Youtube.

Straightening Up The House lyrics
(Sometimes getting the house ready for Mom & Dad's visit requires
more than a dust rag and some Pledge...)
Today I took the nudes down off the wall
Ten minutes after I received her telephone call
She'll be here Friday morning so there's not much time to clean
Better hide the Advocate and Mandate magazine
We'll redecorate the guest room so it looks like it's been used
Separate our wardrobes or she'll really be confused
Then get ready for a lonely week of sleeping on the couch
We're straightening up the house
Tomorrow I will put away your gay pride shirts
And our Halloween assortment of jewelry, pumps and skirts
Then pack up all the books by Quentin Crisp and Rita Mae
And the "His & His" towels that you bought me yesterday
And you'd better hide the albums by that lesbian group
She has no ear for music, but she has been known to snoop
And remember not to kiss me, just forget that you're my spouse
Straightening up the house
The snapshots of the two of us in Spain will have to go
Don't tell me this is totally insane, because I know
And I cannot wear the wristwatch with our names engraved in gold
The one that says "I love you, John, with all my heart and soul"
This is our first Christmas here in our new home
In a hostile world, it's our only safety zone
I never should have promised I'd continue with this lie
But Dad was so certain if she found out she would die
But if it's killing anyone I think it's killing me
'Cause it tears me up inside to hide my true identity
And asking you to help me makes me feel like such a louse
I'm thirty-two years old, why am I acting like a mouse?
I'm a man and he's my lover
If she freaks out she'll recover
C'mon and help me to just CLEAN the house!


9 comments:

  1. It's a really stupid thing to have to do, if you're paying someone to clean then they clean without questions. As for the naked photos, I've put mine back on the fridge door, I was getting lonely.

    As for Evol, I wouldn't dream of asking those sort of personal questions of anyone I worked with.

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  2. STRAIGHTening-up the house is a brilliant piece of work.

    Child-less women go through the same questions too.

    The issue is nosy people.

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  3. yup, Ann said it, those of us who are single and childless get it too. And god help us if we don't fit in the straight nor gay camp either. That's even weirder for people to work out. Basically, anyone who doesn't conform to societies f*cked up rules is subjected to ridiculous questioning and judgements. I prefer to remain an enigma!!!

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  4. Agree Jahteh, and I doubt even home help could object. I suppose I was thinking more about religious people. Don't forget to change your photos. Wouldn't want you getting bored.

    Very funny to hear the song Ann. A bit more accepted in Australia perhaps, but the disappointment is very apparent on faces of those born elsewhere if a woman is childless.

    The ever mysterious Fen!

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  5. Love this and their many other songs.
    Cannot stand the 50 questions when people try to define someone by the car they drive, the number of sprogs they've spawned or the old boys' club on their tie.

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  6. People tend not to involve me in much conversation at work these days because it has already been firmly established that:

    * I don't like football/cars/Underbelly/Dean Koontz
    * I have never been to Thailand/Queensland/Bali and have no plans to
    * I don't have kids & my wife and I have no plans to

    Which puts me in the too-hard basket when it comes to office chit-chat. Thankfully, I have a cat so I'm not completely socially cut-off...

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  7. I must seem too common Jayne. I don't get asked about my car or school.

    Me, I had to check who Dean Koontz is. You have left your village though? I strike out on Bali anyway. Guilty of the other two, but trying to avoid in the future.

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  8. Oh yes, I've been off the island in my time - but can you believe I work in an office with several people who have never left Tasmania?. Even in this era of dirt-cheap air-fares!

    Worrying.

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  9. I suppose if you were to ask them why?, that would be their reply, why? Haha, you can know so much about the world now from your armchair, or computer chair.

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