Friday, November 06, 2009

Food Words

Here are a few foodie words I suggest you don't use in my presence, lest I think less of you.

Barista or barrister. I care not. It is the person who makes the coffee, the coffee maker.

Degustation. This word would be high on my list of ugly sounding words. Disgusting? De-gas? What ever it is, I am sure you will come away feeling hungry and cheated.

Jus. The perfectly well known words such as gravy or sauce surely are sufficient. Calling gravy jus in a pub is wrong.

Fusion, especially influences. It makes me think my meal may have been bombarded with nuclear rays. I'll have my lamb chop unfused, thanks.

Any pet foodie words you dislike?


  1. Infused - fuck the infusion, bring on the full flavour of whatever it's supposed to bloody well taste like!

    Foam: I once had a cake served with 'fresh dairy foam' it was was whipped fucking cream, and I'm tipping the canned type, so not fresh at all. Christ on a bike - call a spade a bleeding spade you pack of cunts.

  2. Vegan - ok I get it, you've sacrificed what the fuck ever to do this but i simply don't care. Furthermore I love meat and I will not convert no matter how many times you tell me meat is bad, killing animals is inhumane etc. It's your choice now shutthefuckupbeforeIpunchyourherbivorianface :)

  3. Andrew, I whole-heartedly agree. The use of wank words on menus is getting worse and I'm glad Jus got a mention. What the hell is it with morons inventing words to describe things that already have a perfectly good name?

  4. for a while back there, everything involved 'a berry coulis' ... a lot of the time I suspect it was Cottees Topping, possibly Home Brand.

    coulis ? WTF?

  5. The truly hilarious Posh Nosh show had Richard E Grant's character go berserk over jus, gravy, and sauce.
    Gosh he's adorable

  6. I never really understood a restaurant referring to a particular menu item as "gourmet". Here, try some of our gourmet bean dip, and here's some other rubbish we threw on the plate.

    I don't object to the word as it relates to a way of cooking in general, just the implication that it makes on the rest of a menu.

  7. "Any pet foodie words you dislike?"

    I've asked my cats because they're experts on Pet Foodie, and apparently there aren't any, just so long as its edible.

  8. Anonymous2:34 am

    Jus is not gravy, but the pan juices from the meat when it was cooked - which is then reduced and poured over the dish to enhance it.

    And I am sure you will be full after a degustation menu - which normally would have ten courses.

    A lot of the food we have today in our outstanding restaurants would not be if it were not for fusion.

    And for any pub just stick with my meat and three veg - preferrably bangers and mash (even thats gone upmarket these days).

    Have you noticed how all the food we grew up with from nana and mum is now back in fashion, albeit a lot more expensive. The likes of lamb shanks etc etc.

  9. Dairy Foam. Lol Mutant.

    Though Fenz, we could eat less meat and have some environmental effect. We probably eat less than we used to.

    Rob, you probably know which pub serves jus.

    Emstacks, bloody coulis. Not heard it for a while. Hopefully dead.

    Very good Ann.

    I get your point Daisy. Our local pizza shop sells normal pizzas and gourmet pizzas. I can't tell the difference, except for the price.

    Brian, it all tastes like kippers to them.

    Anon, there used to be another name for reduced pan juices. I can't think of it though. The point is, gravy is now called jus.
    Ten courses, and I heard it is not very filling.

    It seems fusion happened long before it was named.

    Sadly I did not grow up eating much else but meat and three vegetables. I think the dogs used to get the lamb shanks. Mind you, they are very nice and often pubs do them best. Bubble and squeak is often found now, but again, I think we called it something else when we were young.

  10. Likewise 'counter meals' have been chased from the urban areas and can only be found in rural pubs.

  11. And gee weren't they cheap Jayne.

  12. They were, once upon a time.
    Seems there's a unwritten law in the CBD that all dishes formerly known as counter meals need to be a minimum of $30 on huge plates with a tiny serving.

  13. In 1966 the Toorak Road and Chapel Street intersection had a brickworks, a huge wholesale bakery, and the New Bridge Hotel, which served for workers in dirty overalls, a lunch at the counter of the front bar.
    We often had the sausages and they were 75c (for comparison, my bank clerk wages were $48 and my 24 Hawksburn Road flat was $16 per week, LP records were $5.25 and so were Levis and false eyelashed).
    Workmates would say "going for a countery?"

  14. lol about the fusion thing : )

  15. Yet people quite happily pay it Jayne. I am feeling old.

    Emstacks, the bakery would be the Capitol Bakery, where the existing building is, night club downstairs. Originally a cable engine house. South Yarra Arms on the other corner, not exactly upmarket. So the brickworks probably on the Como corner and the New Bridge on across Toorak Road.

    As I said Dina, I like what fusion means, just not the wanky word.

  16. On the topic of this, just say WITH and none of this fucking crap like "lamb w/ blah" or a fucking w with a wavy line above it, you cunting fuckholes.

  17. Coming to a Maccas store near you soon Andy.

  18. Oh Andrew you said it...I thought it was just me!!!I used to make coffee in a restaurant - I made coffee and good ones but didn't put lovehearts and daisies on the foam so guess I was just one who made toe coffee.

    Degustation sounds like a vomitty sort of word and yes just say GRAVY.

    And I do know what Tapas is...they bring out the plates one after another like a series of entrees...but with a bigger price...

  19. MC, I am sure your coffee was good without the heart. I have never actually done tapas, but I like the idea of it.