Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Come to Victoria

I know I will be found out, so I will say this post inspired by ABC Melbourne breakfast radio.

Victoria and its capital Melbourne are fantastic places to live in and to visit.

We have the big wheel, just like in London and Singapore. A giant ferris wheel where you travel in a pod and have great views over our city. Some people have even done the biz in the pods. Umm, sorry, the wheel is broken at the moment.

The Mornington Peninsular is wonderful. Calm beaches, surf beaches, wineries, fine food and at Arthur's Seat, you can travel down a mountain on a chair lift where you can see the city and its surrounds. Umm, sorry, chairlift is broken at the moment.

There is a marvellous fountain in the shape of a C near our parliamentary buildings. On a hot day, kiddies can run through it. Ummm, sorry, not enough water to run it.

Our casino has great seagull barbecuing gas flame jets that go off on the hour at night. From where the flame emits, water flows down the side. Ummm, sorry, not enough water to run them.

When you visit Melbourne, you want your kids to have fun. What better fun than water jets popping up unexpectedly from paving, also at the Casino. Kids would love that, be the weather hot or cold. Ummm, sorry, not enough water to run them.

Do check out the Nylex Clock in Richmond. It sits atop tall silos and shows the time and the temperature and is a landmark in Melbourne. Ummm, sorry, it is broke too.

With our lack of water, our crumbling infrastructure, our knocking down old and historic building willy nilly, presided over by Minister Justin Madden, to be replaced by glass and concrete, is Victoria really the place to be?


  1. The place to be is in the Outback away from the moronic stoopids that are the terrorists...thank the gummy Mary for the coppers... yeah Andrew, Victoria can be the place to be, but just for us people living here. What a mad World eh?
    I'm going back to bed..it is midnight for me now :)

  2. Fuck it all, I'm moving to Dubai, at least everything there is new... and it fucking well works!

    After seeing that post I'm almost tempted to move back to the wilds of South Australia.

  3. Anonymous8:29 pm

    Be down in Sept for Beyond.....hope everything is working by then. Haven't you guys had any rain yet?

  4. ha ha ha ha ha no wonder i live here, i'm broken too!

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  6. lol.


    There's still stuff to love though. Right?

    How long has the ferris wheel been broken? Is it in Luna park, or somewhere different?

    Darling Harbour had a big Ferris wheel in 2007, but when we returned in 2009 it was gone. There's still one in Luna Park though.

  7. heh. A lot of stuff broken.

    But it's Peninsula. Peninsular is the adjective.

  8. Cazzie, with the memory of Dr Haneef, I will remain slightly cautious.

    Mutant, Adelaide with their expanding tram system. Good. Pity about the water though.

    Anon, little rain patchy. Enjoy Beyond.

    The look act pretty busted at times Jayne, especially Madden.

    Yes, still plenty here Dina. This is much bigger than just a ferris wheel, like the size of the London Eye.

    Daniel, I sometimes have trouble with my rs. Actually, I didn't know any of that.

  9. Dina, it is located at Docklands, not at an amusement park.

    Fenz, never mind. You will be working before the big wheel will be.

  10. Geebus... I'd not thought of all those broken things in one go before, but you're right - we are a pretty crap place to visit right now.

    Let's start fixing, out with Madden first up.

  11. Sadly Raelene, the problem is bigger than just Madden, but it would be a start.