Friday, May 29, 2009

Hamburger

I am working evenings this week. I don't like it much, but I will say it is useful to have some decent daytime to get things done. Sometimes when I work evenings I buy food at work if Household Management has not cooked me anything to take, which he does at least half the time.

So night one, I bought Nandos chicken and chips. Night two, I had a nice curry to take, complete with vegetable garnish, rice of course and papadams. Tonight, night three it was take away hamburger and two potato cakes. Tomorrow night it is tuna mornay (I call it fish pie) with rice and vegetables from home. The last night will be a stir fry and rice from home. By the end of evening shift week, I am really hanging for lamb chops and vegetables on a china plate, or a nice steak and salad.

Tonight, as I usually do, I et one potato cake and then the hamburger and I normally eat the second potato after the hamburger. After the hamburger, I rose to wash my hands. As I was drying them I thought to myself, that was a funny thing to do before you have eaten the second potato cake, that is wash my hands. I go back to my table and where is my second potato cake?

I had screwed all the wrappings up, the potato cake with them and thrown the whole kit and caboodle in the rubbish bin. Damnation.

I sat there sipping my coffee and looking at the rubbish bin. My potato cake is in there. It is well wrapped up. Couldn't be any germs on it. It has only be a minute or so. Can't have picked up germs by osmosis yet. But the bin was deep and I did not note how full or empty it was. Five other people were sitting around. Now if the level of rubbish is high, I could just about retrieve it without anyone noticing.....maybe. But if it is down the bottom, I am going to risk upending myself, legs waving wildly in the air while I gasp in swine flu germs that surely must sit at the bottom of a bin. That may well attract attention.

By now, I was getting pangs of hunger that only that particular potato cake would sate. I stood, moved towards the bin. I felt five pairs of eyes on me. I retreated and sat back down.

Ok, there are some mental games needing to be happening here.

How much spud is in one cake? Not much. They are greasy, fattening and pretty bland really. Better I don't eat potato cakes. Yes, this is for my good health. I don't want the potato cake anymore. It is appalling food. It will go straight to my waist line.

In fact they should be banned. Outlawed. Disgusting. I shall never eat them again. Far to much energy input against energy output.

On to more important things. Will I eat the imported iced ginger biscuit or the locally made chocolate covered mint biscuit first? I will save one for later. Which will give me more pleasure later?

But gee I am sad. I really wish I could have eaten my very own one last potato cake. Ok, potato scallop for some of you.

12 comments:

  1. Haha, my kids love potato cakes, when they get to have fish and Chips that is..which is usually when I am working and their dad won't cook. I ought not say that, because he is a wonderful cook, when he cooks :)
    Potato cakes would probably have less fat in them as they are larger than a chip..and compared to a chop are therefore healthier??
    Go the mint cookie :)

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  2. oh a tragedy of thwarted anticipation!

    Potato in any form has vitamin B and niacin and thiamine, and a potato scallop takes care of one's spiritual health in a way that no celery stick ever can.

    You may have been working the night SBS showed a sleep doco which analysed how lack of sleep affects leptin levels and causes the person to be hungry when they are not.
    It's the LEPTIN everybody, so sleep and lose that bulge.

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  3. I think this is my favorite of all your posts so far.

    It's a classic.

    I can just picture you staring at the rubbish bin--trying to make that decision.

    And....

    I am eager to find out which biscuit you chose to eat first.

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  4. LMAO
    Did you happen to read the off-the-cuff comment on my blog before or after you almost went dumpster diving? :P
    Gotta love a nice spud cake, not too dry and not too greasy, now and then :)

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  5. Andrew, surely you've heard of the "30 second" rule. If it hits the floor and you grab it before 30 seconds are up, it's okay to eat.

    I think you missed 30 seconds by a mile.

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  6. And Cazzie, two potato cakes would be nothing like the quantity of a minimum of chips.

    Thwarted anticipation...nice one Brownie. Not so sure about the spiritual health though when the guilt feeling strikes.

    Dina, 2800 posts and this one that I wrote in four minutes is my best? Oh dear. Now which biscuit had the strongest taste, to be left to last. The ginger one, so I et the chocolate one first.

    I did Jayne, but I cannot recall whether it was before or after I wrote the above.

    Over thirty seconds is ok if you blow on whatever you have dropped Jahteh.

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  7. Anonymous1:01 pm

    Oh my god Potato scallops, haven't had one for ages....they are best on a cold winters day, nice and hot and greasy. Hard to find anyone who cooks them these days. Luved the old fashioned ones made by hand and double fried at local fish & chippies.

    I would have rescued the second one from the bin and not cared what the other staffers thought. Bugger them it was awaste of a perfectly good tater scallop.

    I'm off to buy some for lunch now -think I will go four with plenty of salt.

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  8. No question. I simply cannot resist chocolate covered mint biscuits.

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  9. Mmm...potato cakes covered in spam...that's what dustbins were invented for.

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  10. Anonymous11:05 pm

    Oh, now you've got me pining for something I can't get here...I want a potato cake!!!!!! Vik.

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  11. I've been on a week-long hotdog binge and I'm not sick of them yet. Potato cakes are truly awesome. Tuna mornay = fish pie, but I don't quite follow the "cake" bit for potato cake....

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  12. Still plenty to be had in Melbourne Anon. I have my regrets.

    When we meet Victor, it will be mint chocolate biscuits all round for morning tea.

    A variation unknown to me Brian. I don't mind some fried Spam.

    You can no have Vik. Fried in lard!

    I don't mind a dog Rob, but never my favourite. Suppose it is the shape of potato cake being why it is called a cake.

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