Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A bit of the slap and rough XXX Post

Write about sex and the readers will come. Muttonchopped Mutant recently filled in a meme. I don't normally do them, so don't ask me. He did not ask but suggested anyone who wanted to could. I shall then, I can't resist, but I won' t give as much away as Mutant did and I will be briefer..........or will I.

1. Is there anyone of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with?
Yes, I am pretty amoral so far as sex goes. Just call me a choosy prostitute who doesn't ask for money.

2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
The afternoon matinee is my favourite time. At night I am tired when I go to bed and I want to sleep. Morning can be ok, but I like to shower first.

3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
I usually sleep on my own in my own bed and on the right. But if with someone, the side nearest the door is my preferred position, so that it is easy to bolt.

4. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No, and at my age, no one would pay. I would have paid me, your atypical drovers dog, when I was younger though.

5. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
Yeah, but soap is an unsatisfactory alternative to lube and can sting. I am traumatised by a soap on a rope experience.

6. Do you watch/read pornography?
Never.......well a bit.......actually rather a lot. Much easier than all the messy business with another human.

7.Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
I like active, whether they are top or bottom, so to speak. Mind you, almost dead and unresponsive can be good too, if they are enjoying it.

8. Do you love someone on your blogroll?
Love schmuv. Let me change it to sex. My name is on my blog, so yes. I have probably thought about everyone on my blog roll in a sexual way at some point, but I don't lust after anyone on my roll.

9. Would you choose love or money?
I have love and not much money. I would still go for love.

10. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
Not telling. Suffice to say, I am seriously kinky.

11. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
Yes. Going beyond the bounds can work. But sometimes it is too far.

12. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
In a car in a paddock lined with poplars when I was twenty.

13. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
A public transport museum.

14. Have you ever been caught having sex?
Certainly have. The repercussions were horrendous!

15. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
No.

16. Ever been picked up in a bar?
Yes, and regardless how the good the sex is afterwards, it is very exciting and morale boosting.

17. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
I will reverse this to opposite sex. Yes, a couple of times when I was young. It was ok, but not exciting to me. Due to the internet, I do have some curiosity about the female bits.

18. Had sex in a movie theater?
Yes, a very sleazy theatre. Hideous animal like act.

20. Had sex in a bathroom?
Is that the American bathroom, like a toilet? Regardless, yes, both, many times.

21. Have you ever had sex at work?
Yes, more than once.

22. Bought something from an adult store?
Duh, of course.

23. Do you own any sex toys?
My beside cupboard is full of them, and they sit there generally unused. I like to keep historical artifacts.

24. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
Yes, but I am very cautious. You will never find a face pic and a naughty pic of me on the net. Besides, I only really let trusted people see them.

25. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
No. Generic names are better if you must talk during sex, along the lines of 'do me daddy' or 'take that pig boi'.

26. Do you think oral sex constitutes as a form of intercourse?
Depends how deeply it is pushed in. If it passes the tonsils, then it must be intercourse.

27. What's your favorite sexual position?
Unanswerable. I don't have one.

28. What's your favorite sex act?
Again, unanswerable. I don't have one.

29. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
Since this is the last question and I got through the questions quite quickly, I will answer in more detail. The answer is yes, threesome, foursome, orgy. A 3some can work with two tops and bottom. Foursomes generally see people either pairing off, or more usually, three having fun and one left out. Orgies can be ok, many can target one, or people pair off and perhaps change to someone else. By its very nature, an orgy will be made up of like minded sex pigs who either want to get their dick in or get dicks in.

In summary, that was fun. I take no pride in any of the above. It is just how it was. I overheard R and a friend of his discussing some ten years ago how their sexual desire had decreased. I found such a thing unimaginable then, and yet it has happened to me, and by golly, it makes life a lot easier and less complicated. I still maintain the health of my prostate though. Now bugger orf. I have Xtube, Recon, Gaycom, Gaydar and Manhunt to check. One can dream.

7 comments:

  1. Sex 101, a refresher course.

    Of course by reading this I might have compromised my 'born again virgin' status but I thought I'd chance it.

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  2. Jahteh, I don't think I need to tell granny how to suck eggs.

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  3. Well, I am flabbergasted! What a deviation from your usual tone and postings.

    But more because we are more alike than you would ever know.

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  4. I will admit, I didn't think you'd be one to put your hand up for that one Andrew, but my lord am I glad you did!

    Nice work, although I get the feeling you've stayed deliberately coy. Nevermind, that'll give me something to work on I suppose!

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  5. We human creatures are complex beasts Victor. Not sure if it is good or bad that we are alike.

    Haha Mutant. Yes, of course somewhat coy. I'll send you a copy privately of an honest attempt. No, I won't.

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  6. Loved this post Andrew..and we are similar..I like to shower first also :)

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  7. Never know how far I can go here Cazzie. No has said I am disgusting yet......yet.

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Whenever I wish I was young again, I am sobered by memories of algebra.