Some time ago, a blog mate posed the question of whether gay guys look for the same in men as women do. I have pondered a little over this in the subsequent weeks and the easy answer is yes.......and no.
What one person finds very appealing about a person may not appeal to another. It is just such an individual thing. As I have said in the past, I first look at the way someone carries themselves and then perhaps grooming. By grooming I don't mean super neat, just some care taken with personal appearance, even if the image being is of rough trade. Gay guys can do a rough trade look better than any straight guy can. I like a nice open smile of course, and naturally, the sexual spark in the eyes. Am I doing your head in yet Reuben? I'll try harder.
We are led to believe that built into a female is an instinct to look for signs of a male being a good potential breeder when choosing a mate. This probably doesn't count when you are talking about gay men checking out other men, although, the idea of a guy who is fertile and capable of producing offspring might have some appeal. I have heard the theory that some men chase after men who are HIV in belief that they can be 'fertilised' by the HIV man.
One area where I think many gay men focus strongly and women do much less is physique, that is muscles. I don't care much for muscles. A hard, or soft, lean body appeals to me much more. Regardless, body shape or size never indicates the quality of the sex you may have.
In a complete reversal, I have gone from when I was young to finding hairy men very appealing to now preferring smooth. 'Gay society' has gone with me. I am not so sure that women have. I would guess many more women like their bloke to have a nice hairy chest.
What can I conclude from thinking aloud above? Probably that gay men and women look for much the same in men. Looks, personality, sense of humour and MONEY!