Sunday, February 15, 2009

Camry v. Volvo

Are Toymotor Camry drivers the new Volvo drivers? There are some really racist thoughts behind what I think about my fellow motorists, but you fill in the blanks. I will just say that Camry drivers often need a blast from from a cattle prod.

Simple English.

Green means go. No thought about it required.

A car ahead is turning right, swing to the left. Do not pull up behind the right turning car when you aren't.

At some point, you know you will have to turn left. So why sit in the right lane and make such drama by crossing three lanes of traffic?

It is a two lane road. We can both pass. No need for melodramatic pulling into to parking space.

Best when turning hard right to be in the very right of road. Best when turning hard left, to be in the very left. You don't need two traffic lanes to turn left.

Courtesy on the road is good. Stopping umpteen lanes of traffic to let a stupid old woman to cross the road, when she has pedestrian lights at hand is not.

You want to park? Probably best not to desperately dash in front of a tram and then seriously annoy the tram driver while you back and forth to attempt to squeeze into a space far too small. Ah, you know, there could be heaps of people on the tram who want to get somewhere too.

Drifting off the point and starting to think about middle class wankers in 4wds.

Your average Camry driver should either be deported or forced to resit a strict driving license test.

22 comments:

  1. Too bad people get their license to drive out of the Weeties Packet aye? Grrr!

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  2. "Simple English."

    Most of us are.

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  3. Belt 'em over the head with the rule book a few times....oh, wait, that's right, they can just sit the test with an interpreter and a video without needing to learn the Ingrish ranguage.
    *racist rant reply over*

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  4. "Your average Camry driver should either be deported or forced to resit a strict driving license test"

    I always know which ones ringing work will be Camry drivers!!!!

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  5. I don't know about race-related Camry-driver incidents, after all in the country they were all caucasian, and all over 75, but I think the Camry offers a particular, thrill-free driving experience to the worlds most hopeless drivers. volvo is now a little too cool for those kinds of people.

    As for idiotic wank-fest driving, look no further than Audi drivers. That said I want to be one of them, but without the wanker part. I can totally see myself being the only considerate driver of a TT-RS or RS5.

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  6. I would comment about the camry driver but I'm distracted by the photo of Bomb Cousins in a V-neck to my right.
    V-neck and hairyness are definitely on the no-no list as well as any driver that's not behind the wheel of a Rolls Royce.

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  7. Most Camry drivers appear to be elderly or Asian.

    Enough said.

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  8. Certainly handed out too freely Cazzie.

    Yep Brian. Give 'em a drink and a fag and they are happy.

    Jayne, often they don't break road rules. Just stupid driving.

    Ah Fenz, you are back from the island. Let me guess. They have no understanding of the basic system.

    Mutant, agree about Audi drivers. My friend in Sydney with the sugar daddy has a TT. Not sure which one though.
    thrill-free driving experience to the worlds most hopeless drivers describes perfectly.

    He waxes Jahteh!

    Andy, you can't impugn like that. At no point did I mention a race of people. I deliberately avoided mentioning Asian and Jewish drivers so as not to offend anyone, and now you have spoilt it. To the bad boy corner and drop your strides.

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  9. Again I refer you back to Ab Fab. When Eddy is put before the court for several offences (some of which are car/driver related).
    To the judge: "Why don't you just tax the stupid people?"

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  10. Bloke and I drive a Camry - purchased for reliability - not because we're shit drivers.

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  11. They are that Hawkeye and I just knew that I would have a reader who drove one who I would probably offend. But I reckon you understand my point.

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  12. That one I do remember Deb.

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  13. Oh shush you silly old queer. You only wrote this post to get me to come out and have a go at the asians and elderly.

    ENTRAPMENT OR SOMETHING! HELP!

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  14. I've never understood those drivers who need two lanes to make left hand turns.

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  15. "Your average Camry driver should either be deported or forced to resit a strict driving license test."

    She with whom I live with, sleep with (when she allows me sleep) and am chauffeured by is a Camry driver.

    She will have your guts for garters and your balls for earrings.

    ... just sayin'.

    (Fortunately she has a preference for small earrings.)

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  16. Silly queer I will wear Andy, but be careful with the old.

    Given how superior drivers are in Sydney Victor, in my limited experience, some too need two lanes to turn left?

    My large hangers will be safe then LS. I should have put a disclaimer at the beginning. Apologies to Lady Sedgwick of Strathmore. (guggled to check spelling of Strathmore. Strathmore pub came up first. Ok place? My father would have been able to answer the question if he had not selfishly died)

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  17. HEY! I drive a Camry.

    (Oh. Maybe I'm not a bad driver...it's the car?)

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  18. Occasional Camry driver here, I borrow one sometimes. I can assure you I do not drive like those described in this blog (I hope). The fact that Camrys attract a certain minority of drivers with questionable driving skills should not infer that all Camry drivers are crap.

    Camrys are very reliable, built like tanks (Japanese ones), drive like boats. Turning circle? What's that!

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  19. Meh, I'm not offended, Andrew. I know exactly who you're talking about, and I cannot disagree with you.

    Besides, the main driver of the Household Camry is Bloke, and he is mostly a shit driver. I, on the other hand, am a non-shit driver

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  20. Hiya darling Daisy. Been missing you. You are a good driver, so long as there is not too much ice on the road.

    And Ben, you have made the hat trick of whom I may have offended. I quite agree with you about Camrys. They are reliable beasts and somehow I guessed about the turning circle just by observing them. Of course I never notice Camrys that are driven well, only the preponderance of bad drivers who happen to drive Camrys.

    Well done Hawkeye, in the true Aussie tradition, you are an excellent driver and everyone else is crap. I say it to myself all the time.

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  21. Would you prefer aging? ;)

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  22. Aging sounds a bit kinky Andy.

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