A note to PM Rudd:
Heya Kevvie, not a great time to be PM. Budget surplus down and not as much to lavish around as perhaps you thought. Might I suggest something? It is all about politics and you are a political person. Here goes.
Of course you will save your largesse until nearer to your re-election? But us folk down Mexico way could do with a few dollars for some basic needs. Like you are the one who decides immigration levels, yet you don't give us dollars to cater for all the new people. Bit rough mate.
Ya know, we don't have a lot of spare water and our public transport system in Melbourne seems to be about to collapse under the weight of numbers. Educating foreigners is a great revenue stream, but we really need to have services and infrastructure in place.
And surely, you want to see Bumby re-elected. He is not such a bad bloke and more competent than many.
Can I just advise you this Kevvie, NSW is a basket case and there would be absolutely no point in giving them any of your largesse money, because your party will be trounced in the next NSW state election by Dr Who, Bob the Builder or whoever might be running. Who wins matters not, but it won't be Labor. So, no point giving NSW any largesse. Wasted money. No chance of re-election. So Kevvie, send the money down south to Mexico way.
Send a bit up north if you want and make sure that the Bligh woman is re-elected.
Forget about South America, south of Victoria, that funny little island. They don't matter and are quite used to bad and dangerous roads and no passenger trains.
Spend some money in NT for cane toad elimination, but since they have their shiny train to access the civilised world, they need no more. What? The train company has gone broke already?
South Australia, well no valid reason for it to exist. It is just the beginning of the Nullarbor Plain.
As for WA, look after the country so long as the mining royalties keep flowing but surely Perth is the responsibility of South Africa.
We Victorians subsidise other states, and that is ok so far as it goes normally, but methinks it is time to give us a bit back.
(Apologies to all interstate. Food parcels on their way to Sydney soon.)