Sunday, September 14, 2008

You can come to my birthday, but not you over there

R hung up the call on his mobile phone as we doing some shopping. His face looked pained and he said, 'That was just awful'.

A friend was having a birthday dinner at a pub. She invited us and the brother friends, but left some others who we know off the invitation list, one couple in particular who have been generous and extremely hospitable to her and her partner.

We had predicted that this call would come. A invitation to their place is usually preceded by some email jokes in the couple of days before and they had been arriving. We had planned our response, but R is not a great liar. He should have handed the phone to me, haha.

'Lovely warm day', the friend said on the phone. 'We thought we might have a barbecue tonight if you are free'.

The rehearsed response went out the window. R answered that we weren't free because we had been invited to this other person's birthday dinner. R immediately picked up the hurt in his voice because he had not been invited. It was just wrong that he had not been invited.

I kept trying to mollify it to R by reassuring him that it was not our doing nor our fault. Her birthday, she is free to invite whoever she likes. I didn't convince R and I didn't convince myself.

I suspect the reason was that her girlfriend is not so keen on this chap. I should talk to the birthday person and explain what a difficult position it put us in and the repercussions. I may or may not.

What I will certainly do is call the uninvited friend tomorrow and tell him that we were just the token friends, as almost everyone else was either her girlfriend's friends, or her workmates. It is almost true.

Oh, it was quite a good night of fun, regardless.


  1. Can't stand birthdays...especially other peoples. Hate parties with a passion. If people invite me to one I usually feign death. It's not very convincing, because I generally cough after a lengthy silence...but it still does the trick.

  2. Parties are fun, until the local youth gang rocks up seeking 'meat'.

  3. Dinners are nice, but I too hate parties.

  4. Ouch. I feel your pain, Andrew. Although it isn't your fault, it's still a terrible feeling to be caught in the middle.

  5. Funny MD, I had a mind that you would pick up on this post. I have smoothed the way with him as much as I could. I am still in a quandary as to whether I should open my mouth at dyke friend and risk losing her as a friend, or just stay quiet with the knowledge that the other friend is probably not welcome at future events that she organises and he knows it. Normally I would have sent her an email the next day to thank her for a good night but I didn't. I am still thinking about it.