Friday, September 19, 2008

Memo to Yarra Trams

Dear Mr Yarra Trams.

I am sure you know that your trams in St Kilda Road are overcrowded to breaking point during the peak times. This is not so easy to fix, I know. But I see no sign of you trying.

What you should have control over are the destinations and route numbers that are displayed on your trams.

Unfortunately I often have to use the number 16 tram to travel to St Kilda. I have learnt that it can be numbered 16, 016, 0016. Is there not a policy for a consistent number to show?

It is ok really, I can work that one out.

But what about destinations? I can catch the St Kilda Beach tram, the Luna Park, the Kew via St Kilda Beach, the Kew via St Kilda, the Kew.

It really is ok for an experienced user like myself. I can work it out with the combination of a route number and a destination...........but then even I was beaten one day when a tram travelled down St Kilda Road showing Kew and 69! As it said Kew, I took a chance and I was right. It was a 16, or is that an 016, or 0016.

You have very odd policies for tram destinations and route numbers Mr or Ms Yarra Trams.


  1. Dear Mr Yarra Trams.

    (CC Ms Kosky ... wherever you are .. if you are!)

  2. Anonymous3:39 pm

    A few observations, if you will dignify me as such Andrew, about this:

    a) A major accident can paralyse half of Melbourne's tram network (Swanston Street/St Kilda Boulevard)
    b) There's a major, underutilised track along William Street and Kingsway (where route 57 to West Coburg runs, by itself) that could cater for some two extra routes.
    c) An underground tunnel with less use than a pineapple wig is currently in planning.

  3. Anonymous5:34 pm

    Interesting post, Andrew.

    I received an email today with statements about what makes a 'true Aussie'. One of these, perhaps the most poignant, read;

    You know any public transport timetable is a work of fiction.

  4. The overcrowding on peak hour trams is getting really dangerous. It's annoying to pay for a ticket for such poor service and I am sure there is / will be tram rage.

  5. Kew 69? Sounds like an entertaining way of passing the time at the supermarket checkout to me.

  6. Now you're really starting to scare me... the lil princesses have never been on a tram before and it's on the list when we visit Melbourne next week.

    Maybe I will need the help that you offered afterall.

  7. M'lord, I have learnt that blog posts don't go un-noticed by the powers that be.

    Tram timetables are for sure MD, but given that they mix it with road traffic, I will be a bit lenient on that one. No excuse for train timetables.

    LiD, sometimes in the morning, I have seen what must be 200 people at the Flinders Street tram stop trying to get onto trams. Scary!

    It is a suburb Brian. There is also East Kew and Far Kew.

    Jo, most tourists leave Melbourne saying how marvellous our trams are. I hope you have the same experience. 48 or 75 in Flinders Street going east for Bridge Road, 112 in Collins Street or 96 in Bourke Street, both going west for South Melbourne Market. Best to buy your day or two hour ticket from a 711 before you get on. Saves falling about on the tram while you buy a ticket and missing the scenery while you do so.

  8. It is utilised when there is a delay Reuben, but people just don't want to go via William Street. Some St Kilda Road trams used to go that way and they had very minimal passenger numbers.

  9. *sigh*
    Again with the commonsense, Andrew!
    When will you learn that these twats just don't have the grey cells to grasp the basics of such a concept?!

  10. And we have a Now Luq Kew in Wales, Andrew.

  11. Give it a few months and you might see an additional service headed down the beach on the weekends from St Kilda Rd.

    As for the 16, 016, 0016 issue - I strongly think that only the weird drivers put leading zeros in there. Don't argue with me - I've got dozens of exhibits to prove my point!

  12. Think I get it Brian.

    New service to St Kilda? Don't know about that one Rob. The more zeros, the lower the intelligence?