Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The Boarder v The Family

Dame M said that when she goes, it will be a mess. It is not going to be easy for any of you.

As per usual, she was correct. I don't know how many emails I have sent, text messages and you may recall my dislike of the telephone. Well I have made so many calls. R has done the same.

The real problem is The Boarder. The family who arrived from Queensland has multiplied. There must be five of them now going over the pickings. Where are her rings? Given away as birthday presents, haha. There should be more jewellery, also given away, haha. Why is the house key kept under a pot plant? Because she had kept it there for twenty years. She didn't trust herself with a key when out. What is the code for the house alarm system? Don't know. She only put it on once when I was away and she went to the opening of the Casino and did not come home for three days. (the Casino paid for her accommodation) She could never remember the code after that.

The family have taken over and The Boarder does not even feel able to watch tv in the house he has lived in for thirty years. R has had long conversations with him, with him often in tears. R is much better on the telephone than me.

Notices in newspapers are now worded and placed, flowers organised, the funeral organised by the family with some input from her friends.

Actually, I would go so far as to say it has all turned into a nightmare. We are only snipping about the edges with no real power. Her family who cared little about have all the power. But I think she will have a good send off.

When Dame M's husband died, the house was left half to her and half to her step sons. She contested the will and won. No one is informing the step sons that she has died but I expect they will learn of it. What's the bet that they will be sniffing around for more than just the shares that they are receive automatically.

Of course I have heard of avaricious inheritors when some one dies, but it is not pleasant to observe it first hand. Our task is to make sure The Boarder is properly represented at the funeral, as his standing in Dame M's life dictates.

The unposed picture was the last time Dame M went out, October last year, for her and my joint birthday celebration.

Btw, does she look anything like any of you imagined?


  1. hell nah! awww...


  2. She does look a bit like you described her.
    I've seen so many nasty greedy people crawl out of the woodwork when someone dies, nothing can shock me now. Sadly it leaves those left behind a little angry with the deceased if no explicit,ironclad instructions and/or will is at hand to shoo away the ugly people.
    I hope the funeral is a proper celebration of Dame M's life and everyone is able to say a proper farewell to her,Andrew. Great photos of her.

  3. Anonymous4:48 pm

    Pardon my ignorance, but who was she exactly? A parent, or aunt or a close friend?

  4. Anonymous5:23 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Anonymous5:24 pm

    Andrew, she looks even better than I had imagined. Her title suits her perfectly.

    Your entries on the Dame are filled with such love, it saddens me that I didn't know her personally. Thank you for sharing.

  6. She looks younger and more vital than I expected.

  7. Your word descriptions were spot on.

    Nobody's getting into my mother's house when she finally goes. The refreshments at the funeral home is all they're getting and then goodbye.

  8. She's beautiful, Andrew. What a great smile!

  9. The vultures are circling. Sad that these people (her relatives) didn't get to know Dame M better in real life. From what you have written it would seem that all her friends were more like family to her, especially the boarder.

    In answer to the question, no not really. I can't remember what I thought she looked like now that I've seen the photos.

  10. Andrew, Dame M does lookas I had imagined, and espcially in that first image, what a gorgeous character.
    I really do feel for The Boarder and yet I have seen this time and time again in my career from age 15. As soon as there is a death people who didn;t give a shit for a long time come out of the woodwork and they also pose as worst off at the funerals too..very sad. Then, the next day the fight for what they think is rightfully theirs begins.
    I so hope that everything goes ok for the Boarder and that the familt skidaddle asap.

  11. Vultures was a word a was looking for Ben.

    Reuben, just a friend of ten years standing. It would have been great to know her when she was younger.

    Daisy Jo, she knew how to pose for a camera.

    Only split two ways Jahteh? That'll pay your card off and some.

    Yeah Cazzie, sad but true. As Ben said, the vultures arrive.

    If I missed your comment sorry. I just did the easier ones.

  12. Ah, the bottom feeders.

    All you can do is step back and know that you enhanced her life in so many ways. I hope the boarder was remembered in her will. It's a lesson to all to make sure you have all these issues in hand before you depart, so your loved ones will be cared for.

  13. He gets 25% Bliss. A few hundred K I should think.

  14. Anonymous3:08 pm

    Shame on those vultures. I hope they get what they actually deserve.

    Andrew, She looks every bit like a dame. A Beautiful lady.

  15. Anonymous11:08 pm

    She looks like a very lively and attractive woman. She seems a lot younger than I had imagined - not ready for passing.

  16. She does indeed look like her name. :)

    A pity about the vulture family, though. It's amazing how greed brings out the absolute worst in people. Recently experienced this personally (over far less of an estate than the Grande Dame seemed to have).

  17. Pretty good for age Anon.

    Yep Ren, it does bring out the worst sometimes.