Saturday, January 12, 2008

XXX Post - Be warned

R has been on holidays since christmas. He returns to work next week. I have barely had to lift a finger around the highrise. Luxury.

There will come a time in the future when he retires from full time work and perhaps will be home all day, every day. Well, he hopes not and nor do I. He will find something meaningful outside the highrise to occupy himself. And I like my time alone at home when he is a work and I really don't like the idea of him always being at home when I am at home. I needs a bit of space for more than one reason, but here is one.

Masturbation is a word I don't like. Just the word mind you. It sounds like a chronic condition and a long drawn out process. I think the phrase 'jerk off' comes from the US. I prefer that although 'tossing off' is not bad either. It is just relieving yourself, kind of. I believe all we men have done it. Some of us do it often. Someone has not been able to much of late. My days of being constantly aroused and having to do it in bed or sneak a quick one in the bathroom has passed, thank god.

But, like so many men, sex is at the fore of my brain. With R at home everyday, my opportunities for jerking off are limited. The internet and computer, aka the pornography instant gratification machine, plays a part in my life and I still have a strong drive. But I don't want to be rooting all over town, as I may have a bit in my younger days. It is boring, dissatisfying, shallow and hard work at times, not to mention that I don't like being unfaithful, but at times I just could not help myself.

I have learnt that I can control this by a quick jerk off. I have stopped myself going into chat rooms and looking at hook up sites. A quick jerk off at the computer and the desire/problem goes away for a while. So which bloke is going to tell me that they are always faithful to their partner and/or never jerk off? Liar!!!

Sex is natural and so is blokes jerking off. Women can probably never understand how driven we can be by the need for sex, or a substitute. Btw, my friend count on Xtube is now 406.

And no, all the keys on my keyboard work perfectly well thank you.

17 comments:

  1. BAHAHAHAH

    Oh man. I have yet to meet someone in which the word 'Xtube' will not rear its sneaky head once (or twice) in conversation. It seems everyone's on the same brainwave.

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  2. Oh. I have questions, all too personal to ask.

    We have many turns of phrase for that activity, and not all used by men, either.

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  3. You just keep at it dear Andrew, otherwise you might get all frustrated and knotted up inside and become a serial killer.

    406 friends, just watch out for blisters or use cashmere gloves.

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  4. WOW.... All I can say Is "A Man Is Gotta Do What A Man Is Gotta Do"

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  5. Andrew - I so admire your frankness. I've always admired it. This post speaks volumes!

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  6. Clearly I am out of touch Captain. I thought hardly anyone knew about xtube.

    Ask if you want Daisy Jo. I will have some sort of answer or I won't answer if I can't. We know all your terms, via the US media machinery.

    So you do understand Jahteh. Thank goodness the Sedgwick was away.

    Another understanding lass. Thank you Robyn.

    Pushing the boundaries a bit Rosanna, but why not.

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  7. I once had to do a talk and a paper on Masturbation...shit you not. I drew it out of a hat..had to present my talk first in the line of many...and the subject was Sociology. The lesbian lecturer enjoyed the talk, the daughter of Salvation Army Officer in our nursing class did not appreciate it at all....well, outwardly at least...maybe she went home to have a "play", lol.

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  8. Whoa Cazzie. I could write about it, but speak about to strangers. Well done!

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  9. "Thank goodness the Sedgwick was away."

    'Sedgwick' and 'goodness' in the same sentence!? Wash your keyboard out with carbolic, Ole Hairy Palms.

    You obviously have taken the demand "keep your hands to yourself" to heart ... or, as it seems, to some more interesting part of your body.

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  10. Copenhagen is where you need to be Andrew


    http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,23032259-5012895,00.html

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  11. Wouldn't say I was chronic Monsieur Sedgwick.

    No, no Jo. It sounds like a marathon. I want mine over quickly so I forget about hot young men.

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  12. Anonymous12:54 pm

    There's absolutely nowt wrong with chronic, ma cherie Shirley. Too many people give up just as they're getting to grips with matters at hand.

    (OK so I know I'm going to Hell for that singularly unworthy double entendre, so put the kettle n the stove Shirl ... Earl Grey with two lumps thanks.)

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  13. Anonymous6:42 pm

    Obviously that anonymous comment was posted under vice regal patronage.

    Dunno what happened. We've never ever been anonymous ... well, other that when the local Plod suggested it might be in our interest not to expose ourselves. (Horse frightening, envy and all that.)

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  14. Master of My Domain

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  15. (Carry on, ignore this.)

    Just trying to establish why we've suddenly become anonymous.

    Preview says we are who we are, so here goes nothing ... trad, anon or not.

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  16. Good, but still dunno why.

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  17. I love double entendre Monsieur Sedgwick. Just happened to have some Earl Grey from a christmas hamper. Can I develop my suppressed daddy fetish? Oh, and you were clearly logged out of your blog. It happens every so often for no apparent reason.

    Only thought you were a wanker Rob. Surprised to hear you confirm. Reminded of a lost expression, pulling off.

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Whenever I wish I was young again, I am sobered by memories of algebra.