Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Str8 Highriser

Sometimes I look at a woman of around my age or maybe a year or two younger. What would it be like to be straight and married to a woman like her?

At my age I could have children who could be in their twenties late teens. I could have shared a life with such a woman, brought up children, have a large two story house in Upper Eastern Narre Warren North by Mountain and be driving a four wheel drive motor car.

I wonder if this woman would love me like I know love. Would I love her with respect and still with passion? Would I think she had been a good mother and brought up our children well? Would I have brought up our children well?

I cannot imagine how I would have dealt with children. I am reasonable and logical to the point of distraction. How would that sit with emotions of children? Perhaps they would view me as cold and remote.

I have had a decent bit of naughty fun in my life. Could I tell my children that they cannot do that? Do as I say and not as I did won't sit well with smart teenagers. What do you say? Do you talk honestly and just add 'but please be careful'. Perhaps you say, 'I did this but it was not a great idea and I suggest you don't'. Bit of a cop out.

I was around thirty before I ever touched any form of drug, alcohol excluded. Kids now try drugs in their teens.

And then of course there is sex. Would I be satisfied with my wife or would I want to experience new and different women. From my present perspective, they all look the same in some areas so why would you bother?

What if I found my wife was interested in other blokes? Would I feel inadequate or just cheated?

What if one of my children turned out to be gay? Would it be my fault because of suppressed desires? Could be really unlucky like my mother and two out of four turn out to be gay. (Don't bother having a go at me over the last sentence).

Back to the wife. I have female friends of my age. But I just cannot possibly imagine having an intimate relationship with any female near my age. I suppose I could have a one sided relationship with a much younger woman.

I guess these random and somewhat disconnected thoughts say a lot more about me than I meant to say.

12 comments:

  1. I'm straight, and the more I think about children, the more I think that nailing my penis to a burning house sounds like a good idea.

    I often wonder about all sorts of things that might have happened given the roll of the dice. Even with this, I often feel as though I'm missing out. I guess it's that "don't smell the roses" syndrome that seems to be getting worse.

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  2. Well, there are many things you have questioned, the old what if's eh?
    With my kids I am open and honest when they question me and I answer their questions age related..so they can understand. With drugs, I always have said the same thing. "Medicine is what you take when you are sick to get well, drugs is when you take medicine when you are not sick and ...they kill you dead". Shocking, yes, reality, definitely with the drugs out there these days.
    Talking about sex with them, I answer age appropriately again...and try to get in before the school does too. Even by age 9 they learn so much from their friends at school though...but comprehension of some terms needs elaborating.
    Once I had someone at work say to me, "Oh my, you got so much experience that you could be runing a ward". I thought about that. What If? Well, I wouldn't want to run a ward, I love the patient contact, no office for me thanks. But, I would like to have become an educator in nursing, and I guess there is time for that anyhow.

    Andrew, your questioning yourself is only natural, I think we all do it you know.... and when we look at what we have, I think we are, on the whole, pretty happy the way we are aren't we?

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  3. what-ifs I hv many...but I think whatever happens to us happens, no matter what...

    Keshi.

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  4. You thinking about the dark side?
    w00t! Come on over babbyy, I'll be gentle with you :P

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  5. So I shouldn't believe what Andy tells me about you Rob.

    Thanks for the long comment Cazzie. I you just have to be really strong about the evils of drugs. A lot has changed in twenty years. This line broke me up 'but comprehension of some terms needs elaborating.'

    Fatalist Keshi? I am too really.

    Still chuckling Steph :)

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  6. Wow! You've said a lot here in this post haven't you? Good to get one's thoughts out there in the written form I think.

    I believe I have alot to say in response when I have more time :)

    You've absolutely floored me with this comment though -

    "From my present perspective, they all look the same in some areas so why would you bother?"

    Hehehe

    Aren't they as diverse as a cup of coffee these days depending on one's preference? (pardon my assumption on which part we're talking about)

    "will that be a flat white on skim?"

    or

    "a skinny flat white brazillian?"

    ;)

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  7. It's an interesting line of thought; I spent a number of years wondering what my life would have been like had I married my high school sweetheart.

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  8. My parents used to take things / drink things / do things - eventually they found a way to tell me. I was never ashamed - but it means they're much more responsible about what I do. Those crackpots of mine.

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  9. My blog is my diary Who Me. I may well reread my doubts in ten years time. Don't guys get excited by a bit of breast sucking, maybe a bit of licking downstairs and then just shove their thing in and move it back and forth until they get a release? I am sure it does depend on one's preference.

    You would probably have been bare foot and pregnant many times Daisy Jo and handing your husband a hammer to renovate the cellar in his mistaken way. You know better but you are a good wife and say nothing.

    So how did they inform you Rosanna? How do they say don't do what we did?

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  10. Oh Andrew....you make it sound so....so......non-descript. I may well revisit the drought I was having and ponder....

    I shall refrain from asking any further questions about one's preferences ;)

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  11. 'But I just cannot possibly imagine having an intimate relationship with any female near my age' Oh Andrew, that is so gay!

    I presume you meant if you were straight. So you would take young with 'poke your eyes out' bazooms over age with experience that would make your eyes water?

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  12. If you had been listening Jahteh, you would know that my preference would be for flat chested girls with boi like figures.

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Whenever I wish I was young again, I am sobered by memories of algebra.