At my age I could have children who could be in their
I wonder if this woman would love me like I know love. Would I love her with respect and still with passion? Would I think she had been a good mother and brought up our children well? Would I have brought up our children well?
I cannot imagine how I would have dealt with children. I am reasonable and logical to the point of distraction. How would that sit with emotions of children? Perhaps they would view me as cold and remote.
I have had a decent bit of naughty fun in my life. Could I tell my children that they cannot do that? Do as I say and not as I did won't sit well with smart teenagers. What do you say? Do you talk honestly and just add 'but please be careful'. Perhaps you say, 'I did this but it was not a great idea and I suggest you don't'. Bit of a cop out.
I was around thirty before I ever touched any form of drug, alcohol excluded. Kids now try drugs in their teens.
And then of course there is sex. Would I be satisfied with my wife or would I want to experience new and different women. From my present perspective, they all look the same in some areas so why would you bother?
What if I found my wife was interested in other blokes? Would I feel inadequate or just cheated?
What if one of my children turned out to be gay? Would it be my fault because of suppressed desires? Could be really unlucky like my mother and two out of four turn out to be gay. (Don't bother having a go at me over the last sentence).
Back to the wife. I have female friends of my age. But I just cannot possibly imagine having an intimate relationship with any female near my age. I suppose I could have a one sided relationship with a much younger woman.
I guess these random and somewhat disconnected thoughts say a lot more about me than I meant to say.