People make assumptions and I am not directing this at any blog comment or post. R is eight years older than me and a generous person. He is always generous with me. He is generous with many people. I am much more measured about who I may lavish money upon.
I have some Scottish blood, and I think I picked up some Scottish meanness or tightness. It doesn't make me any wealthier, just a bit more content that when I spend money on people, you will never hear me complain about it. My choice, my decision, my responsibility.
People who know us as acquaintances assume I am a minor in our financial equations. Natural, I suppose. He is older. He normally pays when we are out (I hate the bother of it). I defer to him publicly most of the time.
But behind the scenes, I am the one who sits down and does the sums. Food kitty is short by our shopping. It owes me $8.70. It owes you money you spent last week. $7.70 was it? The difference is $1, split, 50 cents, so we won't worry about then. You paid for dinner and we used your petrol, I work it all out. Even so, I would guess I am in front. Sometimes I just miscalculate to adjust the sums in his favour a bit.
Is that how relationships are supposed to work? Well, ours has for a long long time. Not my idea to have separate money, but it works for us.