Good morning Amanda.
Good morning Prime Minister.
How do you feel about immigration Amanda?
Oh, it's a good thing PM. We need them as factory fodder and taxi drivers and 711 workers and..................
No, no Amanda, I mean how would you feel about taking on the Department of Immigration and Multicultural Affairs portfolio?
Come on PM, I haven't been doing a bad job in my other ministries. What did I do wrong that you want to give me that bunch of lazy, incompetent, arrogant and absolutely hopeless time servers?
We need someone tough in there Amanda. I reckon you could sort them out. You know there are some really serious issues on the horizon with the department and it is not going to be pretty.
This is just not fair PM. If it all comes unravelled, I will be the one wearing it.
Indeed you will Amanda and I am sorry, but someone has to do it. How old are your rottweilers now?
About five years old PM.
And your children have grown up now. Rotties don't tend to live much past eight years old, so you should be free to take on something that is not home based, if you know what I mean, after three years. That is if it all goes wrong.
I suppose so PM.
Great. Drink Mandy?
Yes please PM, I think I will need rather a lot of them over the next three years.
Don't worry, we will do what we can to help. A bit of muck will go back Ruddock's way and the ABC is well overdue for a hammering. We'll see if we can mute down Lateline Jones and Kerry the Red a bit. We're working on it now.
Thanks PM. Yes, I'll have another, a large one. To the top please PM.
You know we will look after you Mandy. Now come over here for a hug.
I take no pleasure in being so cynical. I just feel sad. I am no friend of our Tory government, but I reckon Vandstone has been treated pretty shabily. I guess it is a case of 'If you can't stand the heat in the kitchen....'.