Saturday, October 28, 2006

The car and the clothes

I am absolutely filled with envy when I see some dude get out of a posh car, a shiny Merc or BMW or a monster 4WD. But then I look closer. Hey man, how come you have such a nice car and you dress so badly? You are wearing cheap/expensive clothing, but you are not wearing them well. You really haven't got it quite right. Your hair isn't great. Hope you allow your kiddies lots of money and perhaps they will get the style thing vaguely right.

Reminds me of a guy at work who drives one of those monster four wheel drives. Another workmate reported to me that he visited him at his home. His house was a small squalid place in an outer suburb. I have no problem with people who live in a small modest house in the outer burbs, that is, unless they drive one of those huge four wheel drives to their workplace.

My twenty year old car is only the third oldest in our building's carpark and I dress cheaply, but I try to look almost ok. Labels for me are now history.

Why are you judged by the car you drive? It is just such a conspicuous way to exhibit your wealth and it is all so obvious when little about you matches the car you drive.

Friday, October 27, 2006

The laddie Guy

It took me a quite while to work out which one was Guy Sebastian and which one was Shannon Noll, without actually looking. After a while I got it. Guy is the plain one with the silly hair, Shannon is the one who my Sydney friend fed info to popbitch about which 'proffesional establishments' he attends and what his fetishes are. My friend used to work in 'that area' and still has contacts. Of course popbitch published and my friend was thanked in the credits.

Sebastian was on David Tench Tonight last night, and I must say, I was a little impressed. He seems nice enough and has a quick wit and surprise surprise, he can sing.

Below is a clip from my 'favourite' newspaper, the 'Erald Sun. Perhaps his version of christianity is not so bad.

*There was a mini-debate about you saying you had a lot of gay friends
and so were offended by the word "faggot", but that homosexuality surely
clashes with your Christian beliefs? *

That's the sad side of Christianity. That's not how it's meant to be.
I've been to gay clubs heaps of times. That's the old fundamentalist way
of thinking that's unfortunately spread through all these generations.
They miss the whole point of Christianity which is love. God loves
people whether they are black, white, gay, straight, bisexual, whatever.
As a Christian, we're never going to get close to being sinless or
perfect, and I'm no better than anybody on this earth, but our No.1 goal
is to be as loving as we can. We aim to be like God, so for me, I think
that's a really ugly side of when people get lost in religion. It's
funny, Shannon (Noll) gets called that, Anthony (Callea), all my friends
in the industry. That's the word everyone picks -- as soon as you're in
the industry you're gay.

*You're not anti gay marriage?*

I'm not really anti anything. If you're a gay couple why not? I don't
really have a stance because I don't know what it's like to be told
you're not allowed to marry somebody. That doesn't seem fair to me.

Too many houses or treasonous post

How many houses does one old lady need? Ok, maybe a couple are for her kiddies and assorted spongers.

We have Buckingham House in London along with Clarence House, St James Palace and Kensington Palace. Ah, but there is also Hampton Court Palace, although this one is not officially royal. Just a place for a few of her cronies to live cheaply.

In one of the home counties to the east of London stands Windsor Castle and if she is bored there, she can walk acrosss the garden and settle into a comfy chair at Frogmore House.

The idea of travelling to Scotland for the summer holidays is an odd thing. Why not Costa del Sol with the rest of her countryfolk? Still, I suppose Scotland in the summer is better than Scotland in the winter. Up north here, she has the choice of Balmoral Castle in Aberdeenshire or The Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburg.

Gee, all that cleaning at her age. She is an amazing woman. Surely she has a cleaning lady come in for a couple of hours a day.

Ah, but we have one more. You just gotta have a special place for chrissy. So she bashes off to Norfolk and stays at Sandringham House.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Zone 2a

It would seem regardless of who is elected at the next Victorian state election, Zone 3 fare area will disappear from our public transport system.

I have always thought that it was too expensive to travel from our outer burbs to the city. But we do need to look at the devil in the detail.

I heard a statistic on the wireless today when I wish I was paying more attention. Something like for a family, two adults and two kiddies, to travel from a far flung country area to the city was like over $200 return, closer to $300 perhaps. Whatever.

How does that compare with the cost of fuel for a car that could carry the four people to the city? Not very well I am afraid.

I always compare my public transport cost usage with the cost of using the motor and it is usually favourable. OK, if you know me, you will know it will always be cheaper for me. But there has been a couple of occasions when there were four or five of us going to a popular place where the parking charge was $5. Five tram fares at $3 plus each equals over $16. I will shout the $1 for petrol. Does not compare well either.

I think further. Our normal Saturday if I am not working is to walk to Prahran and do shopping and catch a bus or tram home. If we need a lot of stuff, like bottles of cheap vino from Dan's then we might take the car. We just judge on the carry load, not the cost. But walk to Prahran, catch bus or tram home for two equals over $6. If we caught public transport there and back and stayed longer than two hours, $12, the petrol would not have cost more than a $2 and less than $3 for parking if we could not be bothered to move the car around to free spaces.

$12 on the public system as against $5 to take the car and the convenience of your own car. It just ain't right.

Blog log

What did I say? I receive a modest number of hits to my blog each day, somewhere between sixty and eighty. I don't know if auto feeds are counted in this figure or not. But Wednesday, I received over double that. I am guessing that it was because of a comment I made in someone's blog, but I am not sure.

Every time I check my stats, maybe once a fortnight, there is one search term that is always there. I did write about it although I can't remember if what I wrote was useful or not. Testra really needs to get it's information act together. The search term, 'Turn off Telstra 101', which for you foreign types, it is the phone companies answering service. You can turn it on from your phone, but you have to ring the phone company to turn it off.

The fools or right wingers

If you are a right wing person, I am ok with that. You can indulge your delusions. Take care though. The machine can spit you out as quickly as it spits out us common working class types.

But what you cannot do, is tell me black is white when I can quite clearly see the item is black.

The list is long and I am not going to repeat it here. You can easily find it elsewhere. Don't think I am a lover of the self serving Labor Party either, but at least their rethoric is in the right place............... mostly.

But I will single out a few.

Who do I really have an issue with at the moment? People who ask Chris Masters why he outed Alan Jones in the biography he wrote. Hello? It is a biography, like, you know, it is a book about him. Masters did not out him anyway. Jones was outed years ago. He and his audience is a good example of why we Melbournians hate Sydney and all it stands for.

Bolt, the Hun columnist. Now if anyone can say black is white, he takes the cake. If I was young and eductated, I would write a thesis on him and his outrageous claims. I mentioned him in the past and someone commented that he was Dutch. I still maintain he is South African Boer, surely the most arrogant people on this earth. Great that most of them never ventured further east than Perth. Sadly, Bolt did.

Mitchell, 3AW radio person. Since Mr Faine of ABC radio went on strike in support of his workmates this morning, I was hunting around the dial for an alternative. How can otherwise quite educated people, by the sound of them, listen to his tripe and the funeral parlour ads? Over to you Rosemary? Surely not Rosemary Margen who used to voice the film slides? Isn't she dead yet? She should be. Yes Neil, all us queens in our stilletos are going to destroy Treasury Gardens come February. I see it is aerating the soil myself. Ah, enlightenment. It is the dykes in their Birkenstocks that are the problem. They will flatten the soil for sure.

I am quite happy to indulge you right wingers in debate. But only if you do it properly and don't tell me black is white. From the Prime Minister down, that is pretty well all I hear from you.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Cross words and earings

I like big earings on women. They attract me to look at them, women that is. I have no other reason to look at them, apart from getting make up tips. Ok, there is an odd occasion when I think a woman looks interesting, regardless of her danglers. She would usually be older or alternative looking. But hopelessly inconsistant as I am, I think I am in lust with Eva Longoria. Just once, just to try it. She is stunning.

I always tune into the Movie Show on ABC tv to see what Margaret has dangling from her ears. She did good tonight. I was so disappointed when she was last in Cannes and wore nothing in her ears. Competition was hard, she decided to not even try I suppose.

I was a casual watcher of David's and Margaret's movie show when it was on SBS, but now they are on the ABC, I never miss them. It was their tv twenty year anniversary tonight and the show concluded with a montage of some of their old stuff. Margaret gave David an un-reciprocated kiss.

Let's see, tonight they reviewed a movie about a crossword compiler. Sounded ok. I can do normal crosswords, but my head does not work for cryptic crosswords or suduko even.

There was a Kiwi movie. I liked the look of it. How come Australia has so many squables with Pacific island nations and NZ seems to get along fine with them?

Somewhere about here, Margaret told David he had a cold heart.

There had to be the obligatory foreign movie, vaguely intersting.

Then there was a review of an English movie. Joan Plowright. Can't go wrong. She was married to Sir Lawrence Olivier and had three children by him. I first noticed her in a movie called Drowning by Numbers. She is fantastic.

I expect Margaret and David will be branded National Living Treasures at some point soon. Desrvedly so.

Birfdy gift





What kind of person would touture his partner by giving him a difficult jigsaw puzzle for his birthday? One and half weeks on, we have the back of it broken.

Technically right, morally wrong?

As you are all aware Stage 2 Water Restrictions come into effect on 1st November. Please refer to the attachment for details.

Water features are equivalent to fountains and as such, are not permitted to be topped up. They will therefore need to be emptied.

Following discussion with XXX, we have decided on the following course of action:

  • XXX will turn off chlorine/bromine dosing this Thursday to allow water to neutralize.
  • Building Managers will switch off pumps to all water features on Wednesday, 1st November.
  • XXX will pump out water from all water features on Thursday, 2nd November. Water will be pumped onto lawn or garden beds so that it is not "wasted".

Trusting this meets with your approval,

Nope, it does not.

Well, she is a little new to her job and does not, as yet, understand this building or its people. Once she gets to know us all a little better, I doubt she will make such arbitrary decisions on our behalf.

We went through this the last time we had Stage 2 water restrictions and after pressing them hard for an answer, South East Water eventually agreed our pond was not a fountain. It has a recirculating water pump that just moves water around. It has just been repaired and filled. It may loose a few litres of water per week through evaporation and we will top it up by bucket with hot water tap run off if needs be.

As for the moral aspect, it is for you to judge.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

My Surgery or Penile Reduction

It is just too damn big, it gets in the way.



Actually it was to remove a skin cancer under my nose. It was done eighteen months ago, but came back. Non malignant and only a speck that just would not disappear.

Unusual place, said the surgeon. Area is protected from the sun by the nose. Not when you are lying flat on your back on a solarium bed, I told him. Enlightenment dawned in his quite old eyes. Get withit pops, you are gonna see a lot more of these solarium victims.

He was a bit of laugh. No, not that room, I have been upgraded to harbour views. I turned to look out the window at a brick wall.

I have a big white bandage under my nose which must stay on until tomorrow morning. Then I will look like I have a Hitler moustache for a few days.

Unlike the last time when I made my way home on public transport from East Melbourne while being in mild shock, I knew what was coming this time and I was fine.

I have stocked up with life's necessities, so I have no need to venture out tomorrow and expose my ugliness to the world. Expect lots of blog posts.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Day off and Melbourne Museum



Today was my rostered day off for the week, or one of them. Tomorrow I go under the surgeon's knife so I thought I ought to get out and about today. I had plenty to do at home in the morning but after lunch I ventured across the road for decent coffee. I know some of you may have coffee machines at home, but half the fun of coffee is going out to have it.

I was watching the buses out of the corner of my eye. One went past, so I knew there would be another soon behind it. That is how they work.

I went to the bus stop and sure enough, one arrived with a very handsome driver who was also a very smooth driver. I alighted at the bus stop in Malvern Road and took the pictured piece into Tyson's China Repairs.

It is an ashtray that was my grandmother's, maybe a wedding gift. It it a Guy Boyd piece, who is one of the well known Boyd family. Alas, from my investigations on ebay, it is worth less than twenty dollars. So the $115 quote for repair of two chips on the underside and a crack means it will stay unrepaired, I think.

I called the ex building manager's wife to see if she was free for coffee, but alas, she has changed career direction and is working full time at the Royal Women's Hospital.

So instead I caught the train from Hawksburn to Parliament Station and visited the Melbourne Museum for a couple of hours. I have been once when it first opened, but only to see an exhibition about body piercing, back in the days when I had piercings.

The museum is very good and kept me entertained for a couple of hours. I stood in wonderment about one metre away from a real Tawny Frogmouth Owl sitting on her nest. A staff member later pointed out a satin bower bird, very beautiful. Oh, lots of rudie pictures in the human body area. The most interesting areas, old Melbourne stuff and a water display, I found last and I did not have time to check them out properly, so I will have to go back. The aboriginal section nearly made me cry. It was all the photos, just of ordinary or not so ordinary people. Very moving. But the forest area really takes the cake. It is not a large area and they have done wonders with it.

Back to QV for a bit of shopping and then home.

Morally right, technically wrong

R did not think ahead about his day's public transport travel. If he had, I would have worked it out in advance. We boarded a tram and he validated his ten trip ticket. It was the last trip on his card. When we arrived at the city to change trams, he decided he would duck across the road and get another ten trip ticket. I saw a problem.

After your second validation of your two hour ticket, you are not debited again. You have already paid just a little more than the value of a daily ticket. But if your second validation is via another ticket, then the system will not know it is you and will debit another two hour trip. I knew he would have three seperate two hour trips that day, so after one validation of his new ticket, we agreed that he would just keep the two tickets as proof of payment of two two hour trips, should he be challenged.

Funnily, later I was challenged by an authorative person for my ticket, but R just walked straight past them.

The weekend

When I think of what we used to achieve or do in a weekend, ours is pretty modest now. But we still do a bit. Saturday, Diwali at Fed Square, Sunday dinner at Lazy Moes.

Saturday morning we set off for Richmond. I needed new socks and I know Dimmeys can sometimes have a bargain. It did. I bought some very good Country Road mainly cotton socks for five dollars a pair and some speedo type bathers, 2 pair for three dollars each. The chlorine in our pool quickly eats them away. Dimmeys is very different now. The interior has been opened up and the upstairs has been opened as a, I use the word carefully, homemaker centre. I was most impressed. We had lovely bacon and eggs at a trendy cafe, called into Flinders Street Station on the way back for some flowers and we were home by 12. While I spread my tasks out over the week, R does all his on Saturday, so I played on the pc, caught up with some taped tv etc etc.

Sunday afternoon we chilled. But we had already taken R's car to North Melbourne car wash and cleaned it and then had brunch at a Beaconsfield Rd cafe. Sunshine, cool breeze, looking out to sea, life is a bitch. Highlight was when a kiddie threw a beach spade and it hit a diner's coffee which then spilled down her leg. All was resolved amicably. (I would have punched the brat)

The weekend was busy enough, but not too busy. It is not too often that I home for both weekend days.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Email Complaint and the Councils

When I email a complaint or an enquiry to a business or government organisation, I don't put my phone number on the form unless it is essential. I pefer a reply by email. As well as finding it easier than talking on the phone, I have a written record.

But it makes no difference. They just look me up in the phone book or database and ring me anyway. They all hate putting stuff in writing. No matter really, the chap from City of Port Phillip Parking Department was quite nice to chat to and my efforts will result in more parking fines for a while, thus adding to CoPP funds and perhaps reducing my rates.

Port Phillip has a wonderful system that the City of Melbourne could well take a look at. It is called Assist and although I have never used the phone version, when I send them an email, I get a response within the day with a reference number. These reference numbers remain on file so that you can build a history if it is an ongoing complaint, as I and a neighbour are doing with the parking problems in Queens Lane.

I have never not had a a response from CoPP, although I am having difficulty getting a straight answer to what they will do about watering St Kilda Rd under Stage 2 water restrictions. They have tried to refer me to South East Water, but I am fighting on.

All emails to City of Melbourne by me have been ananswered and I guess ignored.

Update: The above was written a few day ago. In the interim, CoPP has reaped over $1000 in fines at least, and joy oh joy, today I got a private car booked. You may wonder about why I am being so harsh?

1/ It doesn't take too much effort to park legally. I always do.

2/ My car is twenty years old and I love seeing posh Mercs and BMWs cars and and best of all 4wd vehicles cop a fine. The politics of envy.

3/ The lane is a nightmare on weekdays with delivery/service vehicles. CoPP did not approve the massive extension to Number 1 Queens Rd, but VCAT did.

4/ We don't want it to go back to what it was, a drug dealing lane. It took a friend to point out to me tonight the incongruity of a drug dealing lane behind the police station.

5/ CoPP take a huge amount of rates from a very small area here and don't give us much in return. They need to work to please us.

The Utube

I have been a bit busy on youtube. As well as the 'only gay in the village' clip, I now have 'Not happy Jan' and the three different versions of the Qantas I still call Australia home ads. I also have the original of the 'Where the bloody hell are you' ads and two very good spoofs of them.

But my peeayce of de resistance must be this one. For you overseas folk, yes, some Australians really do talk like this bloke. I was sitting and distractedly looking out the windows when I first heard it. It took me a few seconds to process what I had heard.

Against better judgement

We are dining upmarket this evening at a place unknown to me called Lazy Mo's or Moe's. I hope the waiter does not put the napkin on my lap. I never feel comfortable with a stranger being so intimate. And it is all very well saying start with the cutlery on the outside and work you way in. This only works if you have every course. Let you know about it later.

Later update. It was not posh, I can assure you. The serves were huge. I reckon I had half an iceberg lettuce on my plate and some other leaves and about a kilo of chips. It was cheap and busy enough though. Our waiters were Aussie born Sri Lankan. Very handsome and again lots of hair product.

Can't say I would rush to go there again, but it was ok for what it was.