Monday, December 25, 2006

Dead Mother

I expect by about 2.30pm cmas day my mother will be dead of shock when my sister announces she is pregnant to the family cmas gathering.

I advised her to talk to her mother before hand, as she is a dyke and the chances of her becoming pregnant would normally be remote.

But she has been working at it for over a year now with a turkey baster and a mutual male hippie friend of hers and her bone surgeon girlfriend.

We know about it all, but tomorrow in front of mum, we will have to petend that we have 'no knowledge of this incident'. (Like that Andy and Rob?)

I did not say to her that it was unfair to put us in this position. In spite of her bravado, I think she is probably a bit fragile, as you would be.

All will be fine about it once family has time to digest it. But is cmas day really the day to digest such information? I advised her that it was unwise to announce it between pork and pudding, but no matter, I am sure it will be the longer run.

It really will be an interesting cmas day. Off to load the car now with ham, a trestle table and folding chairs and then battle with other road users but with some cmas spirit tolerance.


  1. do not critizise my writing style, spelling or grammar?????????
    are you not willing to learn?

  2. Christmas day here, so best wishes.

    Only two and a half years of blogging for someone to bite but I knew someone would eventually.

  3. Those turkey basters should come with condoms...

  4. I laughed at this post Andrew. Probably shouldn't have - but 'Dead Mother' wasn't exactly the Christmas post I was expecting.

    Best wishes to your sister! Is she super excited?

    Been having a few problems with loading your blog lately, and even more problems with commenting.

    Not sure if it my computer, or a blogger error.

  5. PS: God Jul - as we say in Swedish for Merry Christmas.

  6. Lesbians and turkey basters. Yum. Now I wont need to watch porn tonight.

  7. She is excited, as we are for her and her g/f. My blog is working ok for me. Probably a blogspot problem.

    I don't want to think of the details thank you Andy.

  8. Christmas Day, best time to announce a baby especially a grandchild.

    There have been a few blogspot problems lately.

  9. It is Jah Teh. Sister apologized to us for upstaging Jesus on his day.

  10. I pray to God that the whole turkey baster part is left out of the conversation seeing as it is a family christmas affair. Regardless of the dishes being served, it would be unwise to mention such uses for an impliment while anyone is eating!

  11. It was Rob, it was left out.