Friday, August 25, 2006

Troubles with friends

We have two friends who are brothers. We have travelled overseas with them, been to clubs with them, dance parties, Mardi Gras, Sleaze Ball and drag balls. We have shopped with them, been to the zoo, Healsville, a footy match, Queenscliff Ferry, movies, plays, shows, the hills, nurseries. We went to their mother's funeral. We have met their relatives and they ours.

As you can guess, we have known them a long long time.

But something went wrong recently. It was between R and the more 'nervous' brother. It happened over the phone. R has explained it to me endlessly, but I still don't really understand. I suspect a third party had repeated something they shouldn't have.

Fortunately through Dame M and others, we were forced to meet. Things were a bit cool between R and the brother. I pretended nothing was amiss. I know there has been a lot of talk behind the scenes among other friends.

For a few weeks we did not really call up each other or meet up without other people around. They then went on their o/s trip. Things improved a bit upon their return. Understand that R was not happy about the telephone call and was feeling hurt.

Of course I was supportive towards him, but I also thought, and think, a twenty five year freindship is something worth fighting for.

I walked a tightrope for a time. The first peace maker came when they, after we would not go to the Fantasy Ball because of the cost of suit hire, in addition to the ticket price, found us some 'interesting' jackets to wear. The second was when after meeting up for dinner with another friend present, upon leaving, said, "We haven't really seen you since we returned form o/s. We brought this back for you." A bottle of Thai whisky.

Ok, they have made an effort and things are pretty well back to normal. Almost.

But somehow, it will never be quite the same for me. It is funny that when people have problems with us, they hone in on R. Never me. I must seem too hard and impregnable.

It might have been nice to say, 'well f*** youse', but at our age, friends don't fall from the sky, especially ones that you have a history with and so much in common.


  1. You're lucky to have so many other friends though. I have one friend left and she's a pain in the bum but at least I know that. It's not an urban myth that divorced women are not welcome at parties or as friends.

  2. Can't really say others we know are really friends. I suppose if if I had a problem I could confide in them, but it is not my style. I am quite sure a divorced women would be welcome at any gay party, especially if she was over the top about her ex. As for friends, it is always hard for a single person to connect with a couple. Have a quick look at one of Rob's posts.

  3. Anonymous9:11 pm

    So what am I, chopped liver?! We've known each other over ten years - I think of you and R as good friends. I know we don't see each other often because I live OS, but fuck Andrew, that's harsh. You should know who your friends are by now.

  4. Something was pricking at me as I wrote that. Now I know what it was. In fact it slipped my mind that you read my blog. You obviously know who I am talking about. Actually, you are someone I would confide in. Scarily, the only person really. Just remembered I did confide in you. You are the only one. Anyway, you would be chopped tofu surely. Heading you off at the pass, not all vegetarians are away with the pixies. The eating place mentioned obviously specialised in that type of person. Have I sucked up enough yet? Bit more? Wait for a post tomorrow.