Friday, April 07, 2006

Thinking is dangerous

Without the distractions of the internet, radio, tv, newspapers, books and people, there is a real danger that when I am in the shower, I might start thinking.

Surely this would lead to a seriously depressive state and so cannot be allowed. If I feel some thoughts approaching any more than when the shower next needs cleaning and will I use bleach or not, I quickly distract myself with something like this. In the shower, no one can hear you sing.

It requires a bit of thought to recall and gauranteed to push away any 'thoughts'. It is my version as I remember it, and I don't vouch for the historical accuracy of the words.

There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza.
There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, a hole.

Well fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry.
Well fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it.

With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza.
With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, with what?

With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry
With straw, dear Henry, dear Henry, with straw.

But the straw is too long, dear Liza, dear Liza.
But the straw is too long, dear Liza, too long.

Well cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry.
Well cut it, dear Henry, dear Henry, cut it.

With what should I cut it, dear Liza, dear Liza.
With what should I cut it, dear Liza, with what?

With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry.
With an axe, dear Henry, dear Henry, with an axe.

But the axe is too blunt, dear Liza, dear Liza.
But the axe is too blunt, dear Liza, too blunt.

Well sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry.
Well sharpen it, dear Henry, dear Henry, sharpen it.

With what can I sharpen it, dear Liza, dear Liza.
With what can I sharpen it, dear Liza, with what?

With the stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry.
With the stone, dear Henry, dear Henry, with the stone.

But the stone is too dry, dear Liza, dear Liza.
But the stone is too dry, dear Liza, too dry.

Well wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry.
Well wet it, dear Henry, dear Henry, wet it.

With what shall I wet it, dear Liza, dear Liza.
With what shall I wet it, dear Liza, with what?

With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry.
With water, dear Henry, dear Henry, with water.

With what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, dear Liza.
With what shall I fetch it, dear Liza, with what?

With a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry.
With a bucket, dear Henry, dear Henry, with a bucket.

But there's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza.
But there's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, A HOLE.

2 comments:

  1. If I were Liza I'd send Henry down to Bunnings to buy a new bucket, at least it'd get Henry out my hair for an hour or so...

    Actually, Henry and Liza remind me a bit of the couple that run the [insert name here] shop on Little Britain.

    "I say Margaret... MARGARET!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Waiting for Margaret to answer is a tense moment. In the last episode, the wait was so long, I thought she wasn't going to answer. I always break up when she does.

    ReplyDelete