Tuesday, May 10, 2005


As I am a temporary widow(er), I thought I could not miss the invitation to dinner at Southbank. After dinner, I ended up at the western end of the well known glittering palace that takes your money from you. Funny how people choose to be in a place that makes them look thoroughly miserable instead of enjoying themselves. Half an hour is about all I can stand of the noise and flashing lights. I can understand how flashing lights can trigger epileptic fits. Perhaps they accounted for my mind state later.

Time to go home. Normally I would walk to back to Queensbridge St and catch the tram or bus home. It is a bit of a walk, but usually pleasant along the river bank. Nope, not tonight. I will try something different. Catch the tram along Clarendon St and walk home along Albert Rd. A ten minute wait and the tram arrived with it's usual load of St Kilda weirdos.

Alight at Albert Rd and start walking along the footpath that runs along the edge of Albert Park. It was very dark and although I partly grew up in the country, I am now not used to a lack of outside lighting. I felt uneasy.

I walked briskly and I started thinking, what am I doing walking along here in dark? Why am I alone? Why didn't I get a lift home from the people I dined with? (Actually, I would have, but I would have felt obliged to invite them in for coffee, and I just didn't feel like it) Why didn't I just drive to the casino like everyone else does? I could have at least got a cab home. I almost felt as if I was observing myself and I was not pleased with what I saw. Why are you Mr Andrew, an over forty year old, full time employed male, in a happy relationship, walking along here in the dark in the middle of the night (Well, it was just after eight).

It was a fifteen minute walk and once home, warm in my four walled security blanket, I felt a bit better. I normally try to avoid the phone, but I felt the need for conversation and so called my mother to wish her happy mother's day for yesterday, my sister in law to check what time she is arriving to stay on Saturday night, my sister to find out why she is in Perth and has been texting R who is also there when she is supposed to be in Geelong teaching, and a friend to talk about the rural fire brigade, old cars, his ailments, the weather etc etc.

Don't think I would be very good at living alone. I did once for a couple of months when I was twenty. I need the reality check of having someone around. R is back next Saturday evening and after having two days off work, getting up at six tomorrow will be a very sharp reality check.

1 comment:

  1. You do get used to doing your own thing - just you wait, you'll find a routine and then R will return and you'll have a small re-adjustment to make!