Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Not adding to council coffers

Between my ages of 18 and 21, I parked illegally. You can be lucky sometimes and not get caught, but every time, I did.

First was in the city and I parked past the end of a parking sign. I deserved the ticket and I was a bit chuffed that it was a police issued ticket, not a council version.

Next time was when helping a friend in distress and need at the Alfred Hospital, she paid.

Last time was at the bank in Balaclava, probably twenty years ago. I am just nicking into the bank, 2 minutes, won’t matter. Yes it did.

I was annoyed. I was only there 2 mins.

No, I parked illegally, I deserved the ticket.

My father had a few parking tickets in his time and he never ever paid them, but I could not see how I could get out of paying any of them.

I decided then I would not add to the coffers of parasitic councils and since then, I have never parked illegally. There is sometimes temptation, but I resist. It is not hard.

So, for pure money saving reasons, I have not parked illegally for twenty something years. So sorry, if I am about to slip into holier than thou attitude.

At least once a week I will be opposite the Prahran Market in Commercial Road ready to catch the bus home. This day my usual can’t be bothered, self control persona lost it.

It was raining. This woman in a smart car pulled into the bus stop and parked. She went into Eugeni cake shop. Good taste there, Eugeni cakes are yum. Now I might consider using my car more if I could just pull up anywhere and park. It would be so convenient. Door to door. I must have been in a bad mood and so had a go at her as she came out of the shop. “So rules are for other people, not you? You know what happens when a bus arrives? It can’t pull in to the stop, traffic banks up behind it. The street gets congested and I bet you would be the first person to whinge about traffic congestion.” She said nothing but grinned with the smirk that only quite wealthy people can muster. Was it a waste of my energies? Will she think twice the next time she wants to park there?

Another time, I was dressed in work clothes, smart trousers, pale blue shirt. I was walking along a side street to the corner of a main road. A car pulled up in a no standing area. I guess I must have stared at him, but I was still some distance away. He hesitated, thinking I was a parking officer. Ah, I will play this one along. I turned into the main road and looked back just as he did as he slowly walked away from his car. I walked a bit further and ducked behind a street planting. After a few seconds, I stepped out and looked up the street. The guy was standing there, looking in my direction. I walked a bit towards him, then stopped and pulled out my phone. I never engaged him in direct eye contact. He slowly walked towards his car as I slowly walked away and he got in and drove off, his errand not done. Nice one.

Did I hear City of Port Phillip is owed 15million in unpaid parking fines? Pay up now you cheats. My exhorbitant rates might go down.


  1. Re: the developing car-boot-swinger-cum-riverboat-murder story, how come, whenever I'm a mere 5 minutes late back to my car, I always, without fail, have a ticket, yet this woman is left for dead in the boot of her Mazda 626 for 5 days, and not a single ticket was issued! 5 whole days! Pah!

  2. Well, dear readers. You all know where to park now. Maybe leave it for a week or so though.

  3. It's arrogant bitches like that who deserve to be punched in the face with a large mallet.

    And yes, I do need anger management classes. :P